October 21, 2024 found me at the Los Guan Lye Hospital for a follow up appointment. My cataract surgery was deemed successful. I have another appointment in three weeks, have to put drops in my eyes three times a day, rather than every two hours so there is much to be cheerful about. I do have the best time laughing and joking with the hospital staff. I am their most cheerful patient, they are most appreciative. I was waiting for the hotel driver to pick me up, he was delayed in typical Penang snarled traffic. I was charmingly chatting with a ‘pusher’ man charged with the task of pushing me in a wheelchair. He pointed to a young woman, my eye surgeon’s nurse as she left from work.
He: That is my friend. She told me about you. She said you were SO kind.
Me: Thank you! And thank you for telling me that.
Later found myself thinking about the encounter – really being rather amazed. I do not necessarily see myself as kind. Decided to look into it. Found indeed it was a compliment as its definition is having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature. The origin of the word is interesting: Old English gecynde ‘natural, native’; in Middle English the earliest sense is ‘well born or well bred’, whence ‘well disposed by nature, courteous, gentle, benevolent’.
The synonyms made me feel even better about myself. good-natured, tenderhearted, warmhearted, caring, affectionate, loving, warm, gentle, mellow, considerate, helpful, thoughtful, unselfish, altruistic attentive; compassionate, sympathetic, understanding, big-hearted, benevolent, courteous,, amiable, well meaning, magnanimous, tolerant, gracious, humane, merciful, beneficent, giving; philanthropic. A kind person is not inconsiderate, nor mean, nor cruel.
But I am not always kind. I can become very assertive when a wrong is committed against someone I care about, I am more assertive when cared for person is wronged then I am if I am wronged. Revenge is a dish best served cold has been my motto that and success is my revenge. Proof/ A few nights ago a person I cared about was wronged, I definitely came to his defense. I was wronged in the process, but I shall act in a manner approved by our Creator. This situation was the impetus to examine the concept of evil Almost three hundred entries appeared, began reading them – relearning and learning so much. It led to the reposting oof a 2021 blog which revealed that Gaza should not have been a surprise to anyone – nothing done at the time and nothing is still being done against that atrocious evil. I did not find what I was originally looking for, but did find that I had been struggling with my self image for years.
This from October 30, 2022 almost two years ago.
“‘But there is more than just the assertive fighter in me – here is a glimpse of my ‘other side’ – my post October 20,2020 personality. Cafe Ishan posted a Story on Instagram.
“The believer’s greatest argument is his face. True religion lights up the face. False religion fills it with insecurity, rage and suspicion. This is perceptible to not only Muslims but to anyone”
I responded. This was our text interaction.
Me: I love that message. A Muslim man looked at images of me taken before and after my reversion to the Islamic faith. He said that my face lit up after entering the faith. Independently, (and later) received my Muslim name which is Fatima which means light I do believe.
She: (after loving my message) It reflects an aura.
Me: Thank you for that I see what you mean. “
It may be possible to be both kind and assertive. One must be careful though because it must me done with authenticity. I spoke of authenticity in prior blogs as well. The Handy Islamic Answer Book was the source of an chapter: How do classic Islamic sources describe what it means to be “authentically human’? . It spoke of Abu Said Al Kharraz (d.c. 900) writings, Book of Authenticity. He defined three principles with which to identify authenticity. These three are sincerity (ikhlas), patience (saber), the virtue so central the story of Joseph, and veracity or truthfulness (sidq). All three had to be present. “Sincerity is incomplete unless there is truthfulness and patience accompanying it. Patience is incomplete if it does not encompass truthfulness and sincerity. And truthfulness is incomplete unless it has patience over it and sincerity in.’
Being authentic is extremely important. Therefore, it becomes an existential question. How can I be sincere in my kindness to a person that has not been truthful? The only answer may be to patiently retreat from their presence. I am licking my wounds after more than one encounter with people who were dishonest. If you say that someone is licking their wounds, you mean that they are recovering after being defeated or made to feel ashamed or unhappy.
Mine is a constant struggle. To follow the promised Way of Ease, while still maintaining my authentic identity which includes an attorney persona. This from an October 30, 2022 blog:
“The image of Muslim women needs to be cranked up, enhanced, improved, enlarged and expanded. It is possible to retain one’s modesty, continue to be gentle and loving but raise and elevate the joy and spirits of others. The Quran supports this viewpoint, more about that later.”
The “Evil” blog search failed to reveal the knowledge I was seeking. I looked further, uncharacteristically asking Siri, who was most helpful. My question: When a Muslim sees that a wrong has been committed what is their responsibility? Siri led me to an extensive answer posted by ilium.edu.my Finally finding this wisdom. “Whoever of you sees wrong being committed, let him rectify it with his hand, if he is unable, then with his tongue, and if he us unable, then with his heart, and this is the weakest of faith ,”(Sahih Muslim).
That being the case it is clear that enjoining right and prohibiting wrong is one of the good works that we have been ordered to do” That is what I have done in the past, and what I intend to do in the future. Inshallah I will speak out against wrong in an enlightened manner. It will take courage. The Islamic Faith informs and guides believers by defining courage.
“Courage is not strength of body, Rather courage is the strength of the heart and in steadfastness. The only courage which is praiseworthy is courage based an knowledge and information, not mere wildness, with neither though nor differentiation between praiseworthy and blameworthy actions. For this reason the strong and capable as defined by Islam is the one who can control himself when in anger such that he does only that which is truly beneficial. As for the one who is overcome by his anger, he is neither courageous nor capable.”
I found another Hadith which which speaks to the Gaza genocide. Who are the living dead? The Prophet (PBUH responded: “He who does know acknowledge the right as such as does not reject the wrong.”
“All of this is well and good but who is reading this stuff anyway?” thought I.
Miraculously the answer was at hand as I had asked my blog master for my statistics, and he had immediately responded. At first I glance at them. First views in the USA, then Canada second place, Saudi Arabia was third and Malaysia fourth. I was disappointed, but when examining more closely became so HAPPY. They will be attached. MALAYSIA IS NUMBER ONE IN VIEWS. Not in viewers but views. So Malaysians are reading me more than any another country. Alhamdulillah. But oops, later when I enlarged the figures in order to make the statistics my screen saver – found I was mistaken. Became cheerful again when it was pointed out that neither Saudi Arabia nor Malaysia are predominately English speaking countries. AND Malaysians have a great rate of return – as I call it. The viewers in both Saudi Arabia and Malaysia come back time and time again. Their views per viewer are huge. Bahrain wins that prize.
Not sure if one Malaysian man is viewing but if so – Quee please call. That is his nickname. He does have my number, most people do not. I am unreachable on the blog and deleted Whats App.
The weeks ahead will be filled with three W words. Writing, Worship and Wonder. We are aware of the meaning of worship and writing. Wonder is a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable I will make efforts ensuring writing and worship. Not sure what I may have to do to be filled with amazement, be awed, be flabbergasted.
Photographs will include my screen saver, the statistics, then to show a different facet of my personality, my Malaysian Zumba Sisters and I at the Zumba class.There is also a reel posted to Youtube showing me in action. It was raining all day Saturday, but it cleared in time for class. Alhamdulillah
