Although in many ways I have lived a blessed life, there have been some, shall we say, down sides. A downside is the negative aspect of something otherwise regarded as good or desirable. Again the synonyms add to understanding of the word, sometimes they can be actually funny. Examples are: drawback,, stumbling block, fly in the ointment; limitation, complication, nuisance; hiccup, monkey wrench in the works. Hiccup, fly in the ointment and monkey wrench are funny, actually make you feel happier and more content about the stumbling blocks, nuisances and limitations in your life.
Despite the enviable monkey wrenches I have somehow managed to keep my energy and enthusiasm alive under extremely adverse conditions. Finally and at last, perhaps all too briefly, I am being rewarded. At this moment in time I am being pampered, the word just came to me and it totally describes my present situation.
Pamper: indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness. The synonyms will make you feel absolutely cosseted: overindulge, indulge mollycoddle, coddle, baby, pet, wait on someone hand and foot, cater to someone’s every whim, pander to; wrap in cotton wool, feather-bed.
Some examples shall follow. I am the someone being waited on hand and foot. Sami, my housekeeper was voted as the best employee and I am one of his guests. He is absolutely amazing in every way. He mollycoddles me. I told his supervisor how much I appreciated him, adding this.
Me: I do know how valued he is for doing such a good job. I am convinced that I get the very, very best from him as he told me that I remind him of his grandmother, who passed away. I make him feel that he is helping her by helping me. It is a win/win.
On an impulse I typed win/win in the search engine of my blog and came up with 21 entries. Mashallah!!! Could not imagine how, and under what circumstances, I examined win/win. So I read a few finding that the first entry was in September 20, 2017, under rather unique circumstances. I was not a refugee at that time but was apparently thinking about homelessness. A friend was reminding me of the hammock solution she had offered in London when I found myself being evicted from Dolphin Square. . Quoting myself:
This is the story about the hammock. I was “evicted’ from Dolphin Square (not really, but very complicated). I had no where to live. My friend works for her brother who owns the grocery store in the Dolphin Square Arcade, We decide there will be a solution to my homeless problem. I will get a hammock and at night I can sleep in the grocery store. It will be a win/win solution because the groceries will be close at hand and I could just snack away all night. I had almost forgotten about the hammock. I need to remind myself that I have been so blessed during the last two years of my life – surrounded by such caring people. Strangers but better friends than I EVER have had, and as you can see, they remain my friends. I fired back an email: “Love to be in touch! I cannot wait to come home to my hammock!! I will weep! I just have to do some more edits on the Tate book so that I can be sure to be there soon. x Alexis”
It was rather startling to read that. I was living in an apartment in Vancouver at the time. Now I am utterly and thoroughly homeless. The hammock is no solution. Very recently learned that Dolphin Square is being totally remodeled, shut down during construction. There is no grocery store located in its arcade. I do wonder what has happened to my Muslim friend. (I was not Muslim at the time this was written, had no idea whatsoever that I would become Muslim).
It seems so long ago. Vancouver, however, proved a failure and I moved on. Vancouver was an alienating experience. It is now overrun with with homeless folk, according to a recent friend, met in Abu Dhabi.
I was in Abu Dhabi in March of 2022 when again I spoke of win/win. Here were the circumstances, most unusual as you shall see. Again, I quote myself.
“What is a win/win solution. Win-win is a Frank Covey paradigm. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. It is all rather fascinating. To quote from their website: “Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing—if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really? Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good! To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, but you also have to be brave. That balance between courage and consideration is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.”
The strange circumstance was that a man who said his Muslim name was Rashid volunteered to fast for my Ramadan 2022 obligation. I would donate to him, he would donate to charity.
Mercifully, decided to fast on my own. Mercifully because it was revealed that this man was not actually a Muslim. He was employed in Abu Dhabi but now he is back in Uganda, his country of origin. He emailed about six months ago asking for money to enroll in a barista course, I ignored the request.
However in reading the blog – found that a rather amazing coincidence. The blog contained the news that I had gone to to the Fish Market in Abu Dhabi with S.A.D. (my Bangladesh taxi driver.)
“We went to the Fish Market and that seemed to be working out perfectly. However, something happened and I began to feel really sick all of a sudden. I am allergic to mussels (the shell fish, not the ones on Rashid’s arms). I told the waiter and he even made a special soup for me with no mussels but there might have been a trace of them in a cooking liquid or something. I escaped without throwing up which would not have been very appetizing to the other diners. I am beginning to feel a little better and actually writing this blog helped as my mind was on other matters.”
I had forgotten about this very minor experience almost two years ago. So unusual I should have read about this because there was a repeat performance. But this time with a happy ending, a gloriously happy ending. Two nights ago I experienced an exceptional dinging experience at the Primavera Italian Restaurant. The very first day I was here at the Ritz I met the Italian Chef and his family, his wife, daughter and his mother visiting from Italy. His mother, who spoke only Italian, and I speaking only English, had an intimate and joyful ‘conversation’ about positivity. I shall never forget it.
I had not, however, visited the restaurant until that evening. Ordered my most favorite Italian dish, Ossobuco with Saffron Risotto, It was absolutely, entirely delicious, admittedly much more flavorful than mine, even though I thought I had perfected the recipe, The chef who prepared the dish came to the table, I expressed my profound appreciation for the food. She suggested that I come and cook with her, We set a date and the dish – she would teach me how to prepare gnocchi. Happy and content I repaired to my room, went to bed and immediately fell asleep. But alas, three hours later I awoke awfully and dreadfully sick – vomiting the food in an undigested state. But once my system was clear of it went back to sleep. The next morning I spoke with a smiling woman at the Front Desk on my way to exercise.
She: You should speak to someone on the team about this.
Me: That is an excellent suggestion I shall!
Well, it was not difficult to do so because at breakfast who should appear but the excellent Team Leader, the Food and Beverage Director. We spoke, as I described my symptoms we both realized that it seemed to be a food allergy. I told him of my only allergy, mussels.
He: My wife has a seafood allergy, so I am familiar with that. I wonder if the Chef used seafood stock in her preparation of the risotto. I will speak to her and get back to you.
Me: Thank you. That would be likely as when one is cooking halal one would look for other ways to achieve intense favor.
She found me in the lobby, we chatted. She was most apologetic,
Me: Please! I do not blame you at all! There was no way this could have been prevented. You were not trying to kill me. I know.
She: Could we please change our cooking lesson to Wednesday, Monday is the Head Chef’s night off and he wants to be there. Can it be Wednesday?
Me: Of course. I am most flattered that he will be there.
Went back to my room to pray and write. There was a knock on the door A man bearing gifts!! A chef’s hat with my name, a written invitation and cookies. We videoed my heartfelt happiness. You shall now see it, with a photograph of the invitation and photos of the some of the flowers that keep appearing in my room. Pampering at its finest!!!
I am truly blessed by Allah!! There is hardship – throwing up the contents of your stomach is not exactly fun. But look at the benefit!!!!
I have gifts given by Allah, when I share these gifts I am gifted. It is definitely a win/win. The Islamic Faith is a total win/win, come to think of it.
