An accident happened I tries to understand what was going one in my life this is what I found
“This is the unfortunate truth: No matter how careful you try to be, it is inevitable that some unfortunate or unforeseen events will occur. If something happens accidentally. It didn’t happen by chance, it didn’t happen on purpose, blame it on a mistake, chance or outside forces. . There are things you mean to do, like brushing your hair. Then there are things you do accidentally: you didn’t mean for them to happen, but they happened anyway. The most important part of the definition to understand is that accidents are caused. To be more specific, they’re caused by people and their unsafe behavior. But some accidents happen because of their egocentric tendency to think of themselves as invulnerable. What can cause and accident? Hurry, worry, multitasking, stress — you might call them the four horsemen of the accident prone.”
This is my favorite, rather humbling perspective of accidents and has particular meaning when discussing my accident:
‘Some accidents happen because of a person’s egocentric tendency to think of themselves as invulnerable.”
This was my humbling accident. I sleep with a hot water bottle. It leaked, it wet the bed. To clarify my position: IT wet the bed; I did not wet the bed. Under normal conditions, I strip the bed, put the wet sheets, (sometimes mattress cover) in the washing machine, then dryer, and remake the bed. All rather inconvenient, but doable. Be that as it may, I am not living under normal conditions. Every day men make my bed. What are they going to think? That became the dilemma of the day. What made it more daunting was that these men neither speak or write English.
My psychological state was not the best. I had no one to blame but myself and my addiction. I am addicted to the hot water bottle. It brings comfort, solace, warmth and alleviates pain. Who needs a man? I have a hot water bottle. Usually they are much easier to control and predict. Not then. I humbly admit it must be my egocentric tendency to think of myself as invulnerable. You may now link egocentric to learn that it means thinking only about yourself and not about what other people might need or want. You may now link invulnerable to learn that someone who is invulnerable cannot be harmed or damaged if you attack or criticize them.
If you follow that link you see a sentence, that caused me to be in awe of its wisdom. Her feminism has to do with making yourself the most attractive, invulnerable, compelling object that you can.
Then you link feminism finding: Feminism is the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men.Then you link compelling to find that: very interesting or exciting, so that you have to pay attention.
WOW – accidentally I found a truth. Totally by accident.
What at the end of the day do you have?
The end of the day means when everything is taken into consideration. Something that you say before you give the most important fact of a situation.
The truth is this – in order to achieve equality with men in the eyes of the world one must be most attractive, invulnerable and be a ‘completing object’. That is almost, if not entirely impossible. It is impossible – I have done it. HOWEVER, it is almost impossible to sustain and it is a tough act to follow. Therefore, it the long run it does absolutely no good to try or to sustain for the good of others.
A tough act to follow means someone or something that has been so successful that it is very difficult for the person or thing coming next to be as good.
Two examples were provided:
- Mississippi State’s Zach Arnett will have a tough act to follow The late Mike Leach was a Media Days legend who always had something interesting to say, whether about football or a completely unrelated subject.
- 2. NorthPark has proven itself a tough act to follow, but that hasn’t stopped developers from trying.
The second example carries a measure of hope. It did nonstop other developers from trying. Perhaps their construction could never measure up to that of NorthPark but it inspired them.
Once I inspired a man, he wrote, and I quote:
He: You inspire me to do more.
And I am proud to say that he did magnificently – well it looks good on paper anyway. Developed a twin towered complex that caters to families and those of all ages, making it easy to raise children as there are schools nearby, safe playgrounds within the complex.There are community gathering places, even a theater. Restaurants and grocery stores. There will be a diversity of ages – old people can be around young people and vice versa. It can work. Cars are carefully stored in underground parking. Green spaces, parks are also within the complex. Single family dwellings with their lawns etc. have to become a thing of the past. They encourage isolation, separate the rich from the poor and are actually the worst places to raise children. Transportation to schools often arduous.
So I am proud of him and do a shout out. Never, ever did I think I would be saying this but Good Work Joo Kim!!
Do realize that I can acknowledge his endeavors because I am in a good place. I don’t just mean my Medina Oberio Refuge Camp but a good place psychologically.
I do hope I can explain this – I have two reels – both from Instagram to serve as aids to understanding. You will need some background.
The first reel to watch was recorded in the Kyoto Japanese Restaurant here in the Medina Olerio. A companion and I were sharing the set menu – such an occasion – with the flashing of knives, such drama and such fun. You shall briefly see my companion ,quietly giving a thumbs up but being totally supportive. The filming, done by the master chef concluded.
Then quite suddenly the call to prayer began. I cannot hear the call to prayer from my room. It summons believers five times a day but I have rarely, in the past two months I have been here ever heard it. This is what I said:
Me: Listen to that! It is so special for me to hear knowing that the very first call to prayer was made here in Medina. I know the whole beautiful story. I am SO blessed to be here, in this place at this time.
He: Yes! We must stop eating and speaking for two minutes.
Me: Oh yes!! Of course!!
I became overcome by emotion and began to weep. He took my hand, quietly comforting me. He did not tell me to stop crying as people almost always do. It was a brave act to do that in a country where a physical exchange between different genders is discouraged, if not outright forbidden. But there was no one around to offend.
That gesture made me feel so vulnerable but at the same time so treasured. He is a Nigerian met the night before, by total accident, in the same restaurant. He was sitting in MY sear at the sushi bar. I stopped in to stay HI after an amazing evening at the Medina Museum, the exhibition I have written about in a prior blog. I returned, greeted by name and welcomed with open arms.
Hammad and I corresponded. He was getting squished at Friday prayers at the Prophet’s Mosque. It was overflowing with people. We sent texts which were most amusing.
He: You have made me laugh so much in less than 24 hours.
Me: Me too!
He walked into the restaurant, dressed in a white thobe and a head scarf which he had tied himself. I actually have one just like it, a gift from a Saudi man. But believe me, I am incapable of placing it over my head in that fashion. We began our lunch in a fun filled fashion, then to my tears. Some frustration, parting as he was leaving with his family for Umrah in Mecca. We have laughed and texted today.
You shall see the back of him on an Instagram post discovered later. The message accompanying the reel was so inspiring:
He: As we walk to the mosque today in our clean white robes, may we walk to Jannah in our clean white shrouds one day too.
While I was typing this blog another absolutely incredible thing happened. About then days ago I met a wonderful woman from Kuwait. We WhatsApped each other. This morning I saw a woman dressed in a beautiful abaya, completed her and we began a conversation. She was from Kuwait as well. met another woman from Kuwait, complimenting her on her beautiful abaya. I texted the first Kuwaiti woman
Me: Met another wonderful woman from Kuwait just now In the lobby,
I went back to blog writing with the earphones in place because of construction. I received a voice message from WhatsApp. That never has happened before, it was startling. Back to the First Kuwait woman
She: How are you doing?
Me: Wonderfully. I cannot believe this! I am in my bed writing my blog listening to Classical Motivation on my earphones as their is construction going on. Then I got your spoken message. It seemed like a miracle! I was writing about a manForgiving him and seeing his accomplishments which I guess I inspired. Then I got this message from you. You a Muslim, a recent acquaintance. The Malaysian man not a Muslim, met him about eight years ago.
She: Dear, I am glad to keep you always happy and smiling. I am in Tricky now.
She then sent a reel which I am sending to you.
She: This film is a moment in time and got the Oscar speaking about the need of friends and family.
Me: This is So blessed! Thank you! If it could only happen in Palestine!! Actually it is. The wounded and dead are either dead or going to Jannah. Alhandullilah.
She: God will be Inshallah with them
Me: I know it has to be true. What a gift you have given me!!
She then sent me some Arabic words.
Me: Oops Arabic. Hahaha I sent the reel to my blog master and a guy that needs this.
We then exchanged oral messages. She explained.
Me: Perfect! I love it.
This is another strange truth. It took me until now to remember the name of the ‘bugs’ in the film I knew they were familiar. They are Lady Bugs. Of course, I Googled Lady Bug. WOW, this is what I found.
Many cultures believe it is, recognizing the ladybug as a positive symbol of good luck and new beginnings. In fact, the belief that ladybugs are associated with these and similar qualities, such as goodness and positivity, is nearly universal – from Slavic, European, and Asian cultures to Native Americans. The Ladybug is from God, a bringer of gifts. It is, in particular, the bringer of good things to humans.
I, and millions of others I am sure are praying that this will be a new beginning. That Genocide in Gaza will herald a new beginning, we pray.
The earphones then began the triumphant Hallelujah chorus. It is a universal message – not just one of Christmas when you listen carefully.
.
The other evening, when I returned to the Medina Museum, a man, speaking Arabic asked if he could interview my reactions to the inspiring exhibit. I said yes but cautiously asked what he would do with it. The astounding answer shall be revealed by the two photographs. One of he and me. The other his inspiring Arabic site called Hopemedia.
I plan to return to the exhibit in the future. More later.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0mMnL-sXqI/
