I was looking for a word to describe the happenings of today but one eluded me, usually words come unbidden. The closest I could come is role reversal, defined as a situation in which someone adopts a role the reverse of that which they normally assume in relation to someone else, who typically assumes their role in exchange.
Before we discuss the matter at hand let us define unbidden, which is an adjective meaning (in this instance) • (especially of a thought or feeling) arising without conscious effort. Words come to me in a manner that is unprompted, voluntary, unforced, uncompelled, unplanned, unpremeditated, spur-of-the-moment.
But not today. I shall explain further. I have two ‘personas’ – one is the blog Alexis, the other is the Instagram Alexis. The Instagram Alexis is playful, laughing, not usually dealing with serious matters. Whereas, the blog Alexis is serious minded, questioning, rather devoid of emotion. Today there is going to be a role reversal. I shall be playful, laughing, not dealing with serious matters on this blog.
Totally accidentally I came upon a most sombre occasion. I was seized with a compulsion to film a reel and place it on Instagram. Well, it was not exactly accidentally coming on a somber occasion as I was in my apartment, arriving there after a successful appointment with the hand surgeon. I heard the somber cadence of a drum, coming from outside my 16th floor window. I ran to see what was going on and was stupefied.
Stupefied came unbidden and it is the perfect word, it means astonish and shock. Stupefy:
tun, astound, dumbfound, overwhelm, stagger, amaze, astonish, startle, confound, take aback, shake up, leave open-mouthed, take someone’s breath away; flabbergast, six, knock sideways, hit like a ton of bricks, bowl over, floor, blow away.
There I was flabbergasted, bowled over, astonished, my breath taken away by this immense, spectacular funeral procession. The likes of which I have never seen, either in person or on television. NEVER.
The only way to capture it was to film it – and even then it was inadequate. My commentary was emotional, once almost cried. My commentary dialogue expressed compassion, immense pride at the privilege of being a Canadian but also anger. Anger at the United States of America – do remember saying that such a sight could never take place there, as it would paralyze the country. Law enforcement from all across Canada came to honor their two fallen comrades. Think of the number of people killed in the United States by guns – every day almost. There would have almost be a coast to coast parade – from the Canadian border to the Mexican border. The two noble young policemen were killed by a sixteen year old with a gun. What was he doing with a gun? Where did he get it? Do remember emotionally saying that we must have no guns in Canada – stricter gun control, rigidly enforced. There are those who insist that men that hunt should be allowed guns. Excuse me!! It would be more manly to use a bow and arrow in the manner of the Indigenous people of this land – one would have to eye to eye with the hunted animal. Moreover, some technical skill would be needed – not just squeezing the trigger. I can not say this with certainty, but I am sure that Premier Smith is one promoting the sale of guns to men who call themselves hunters. Canada must separate itself from the United States, for so many reasons – the more I learn of Canadian politics, the more I know this to be of major importance. Critical importance. What has the United States done for Canada recently (or ever come to think of it). It can take a crisis, a catastrophe for people to wake up to reality and do something. The somber procession was not a catastrophe in the common usage of the word but it certainly was a tragedy, a shock, and a blow. The question on everyone’s mind had to be WHY, why is something like this allowed to take place in this country. The answer is quite simple – Canada’s proximity to the so-called United States of America. I am not suggesting that Canada should move – that would be a bit difficult to say, the least. But our land mass has to be larger – maybe we could just sort of swallow them up. If that happens I would like to request that California be spared.
You: Why is that Alexis? Why should California be spared?
Me: Well that is where my retirement income comes. We would not like to see those funds cease their trajectory.
You: Isn’t that a bit hypocritical of you Alexis?
Me: Perhaps. But money is money. I earned it, I want it. Moreover, no one is perfect, not even me.
In the bitter end, as you have seen, my sense of humor prevails. I laugh at myself and all of my foibles, that again a perfect word: a minor weakness or eccentricity in someone’s character. I do admit that my character brims with shortcomings, flaws, quirks, kinks, idiosyncrasies, eccentricities Achilles heels and hang-ups. But excuse me, it also overflows with strengths, the antonym of foibles. As I used to say: So there! So there! So there!
Onward at last to my playfulness, which was promised. You have not heard about Computer Guru Chris in a while. You are about to. Did send a rather forlorn email to him. My blog has become massive and lacks organization. Therefore, this was the subject line of the long series of emails: Do You No Anyone That Can Help Me Organize the Blog. Then a couple of emails illustrating miscommunication, which led to some frustration on my part.
Me: No, an idea of how to organize the massive sight so that people including me can find things. There are over a million words written by me. So I guess you have no ideas since you cannot understand the concept.
He: Ok, I understand, I’m looking into bulk categorising the posts, to save us manually going into each post and applying those categories. Obvious ones are location, UAE, Canada, US, London, less obvious are references to say, Andy Borowitz or softer subjects like food / fine dining/ fast food, here is a screenshot of the ones I’ve added to the site already over the life of the site.I guess if you can go though and think of any additions (or removals) let me know and I can start to bulk add them. Then we can think about how to use the tags/ categories (the easier bit) once they are set (the fiddly bit).
Me: Hey!!! You are brilliant after all! I knew it all along. I think that might work.But this is Ramadan and I have a lot of religious stuff to do this month. So do let us put this project on hold at the moment. It is a great idea. I have to pay a fortune in Canadian taxes and so I am thinking of forming a business which will enable me to write some stuff off and lower my taxes. But all of this has to wait to the end of Ramadan and until May 1 – the end of Canadian tax season so my accountant has some time. It is difficult to think when one is starving to death – I guess you would not know about that. Hahahah I gotcha. My sense of humor is still intact. I am SO looking forward to May 1. I will be relieved of the weight of money – I have to pay $30,000 in Canadian taxes. I also pay US taxes (of course). They are withheld so it is less painful. I may look rich on paper but I am nothing but an ATM machine to the Canadian and American governments. Please say something funny in response so I can put it on the blog.
If I owe you money let me know and I will think about it. Hahaha It is morning – one eats before sunrise so I have energy at the moment. Why me??????
Love to Clare and Have a Nice Day to Beryl.
I do not think I am going back to Saudi Arabia in the near future as I originally planned. Let MBS come to me. Hahahaha
Maybe travel throughout Canada and NYC in the fall. Come on over – the weather might be fine. Sorry Beryl it is a no dog building. Affectionately, Alexis
Me: I particularly love some of the categories – like Enemies. BEEEG section on that. I think I might incorporate this thinking on a blog soon to be posted. I could do a great introduction in every section. You are indeed brilliant. Why didn’t Clare tell me that???? Hahahaha Perhaps she did not know??? Alexis (no more Fatimah for a while). Changed my Instagram name to Alexis Dryburgh.
He: OK, good to know.. sorry about the taxes! what the h***, double dipping from the US and Canada, dont they just tax your income? I suppose your pension counts as income, still WHAT THE H*** 30K + !! xx
Me: Yeah! My pension is my income. It is bad news alright. Love my Canadian tax accountant. I said: “Maybe I should get married and claim the guy as a dependent He said: Alexis – it is not worth it!”! Now that is funny. This is the only sort of good story. I do not have to pay California State taxes which I would if I lived in the US. I at least get something for my Canadian taxes – great medical care for example. Because of exchange rate it is actually only $21,000 in American dollars and I am paid in American dollars.
See! I am an optimist. But darn it – if I keep living it is not worth it. Hence, the business. The business would make me more famous – getting good ideas for it, already.
But it is Ramadan and I am supposed to be focusing on Allah not the tax man.
Also living in Edmonton is extremely inexpensive. Do not have (or want) a car. Take taxis. By the way how is Clare’s driving lessons coming?
He: (sent photo of Clare in driver’s seat) She passed. Thanks Chris.
Me: A picture is worth a thousand words!!! I shall post it on my blog if it is okay with her!!! WOW!!! Lots of Love, Alexis
He: Oh no she’s far too self conscious for that, she hates her photos being put online.
Me: Okay. But please tell her that she is driving on the wrong side of the road. You did not do such a good job after all. Oh Instructor. Hahaha Alexis.
Therefore, there shall be no photograph of Clare driving on the wrong side of the road. The ‘photo’ attached will be the list of possible categories for the organization of the blog. There is no photo of the somber procession as I did a reel instead.
Tomorrow’s blog will contain playful emails between myself and my second cousin, the Australian guy. It will also discuss a word that came to mind: vainglory which is the inordinate pride in oneself or one’s achievements. I fear that the word may apply to me.
