Here it is, and so amusing in light of the day. It was an email to a friend, I was living in San Francisco at the time, so it was probably written in March or April of 2019 – in other words about a year ago.
“Me: Well of course there are no concrete dates for wedding of course. He began the courtship by informing me that he considered me a trophy and he planned to win me but only by playing fair. I do admit this is all a bit unusual but I shall not do anything hasty. One can say one is going to get married and not marry them – or you can marry them and divorce them and with a prenuptial – no problem particularly if you do not acquire property. Here is something that sounds entirely unbelievable but is true (apparently). He is a fashion designer who has a four year contract designing and constructing the clothes for the Royal Family of Dubai.You see why I had to see you in person before telling you all of this as it just sounds unreliable and you would worry about me. But don’t. Hell I blog every day, got my taxes done on time and make new friends at the hotel. None of my positions have changed, I have not, of course, given him any money. He is hiring me to be his personal lawyer – his contract with the Royal Family is stupid – he has relied on his agent and not gotten a lawyer of his own for contract negotiations. We will work on that. He is darling, darling. It was he that I had the conversation.
He: Would you reconsider and not move to SF and stay in Vancouver.
Me: No I do not want to live in Vancouver for many reasons.
He: Are you playing hard to get?
Me: Not that hard to get. It is only two hours away by plane
He: That is a distance I can handle
Then the charmer even offers to move to San Francisco, But right now the plan is that I have a apartment in SF but I visit him a lot in Vancouver, It is easy enough as I am a dual citizen. But DO not worry – I am not doing anything that you would not do. Hahahaha
At the moment he can be with me in SF as well = well not at the moment because he is in UAE. I do realize that it is bizarre – occasionally I do get freaked. He says Alexis you are overthinking. Just stay calm and let me take care of you. Well I am not used to that and it is hard. It is down to breakfast and English conversation. Hahahah Alexis”
The man, Jimmie Avenzeni by name, turned out to be a catfish. Said he needed money as the Royal Family wanted extras and would not pay until completion and then wanted a bank account to be opened so he could deposit his check from the family. Of course, I did neither so never met the man. His Instagram photos showed a most handsome man. But what makes the discovery of the email so funny is that six months later I meet almost the entire Royal Family of Dubai at my hotel in London and formed a fine friendship with them and got an inflatable unicorn on New Year’s Eve. Such an improbable existence I lead. Well. at the moment it is not, living in self isolation in a modest apartment in San Francisco.
This has been a most frustrating morning, a most frustrating morning. The NewYorker newsletter says that my free stories have run out, so I log on and attempt to renew. But then after putting in all of the information all that happened is the one moment sign kept flashing and flashing and flashing. So I called Customer Services and got a VERY unhelpful woman who says I have to sign onto the New Yorker website, that I do have a valid subscription. So, of course, I will have to remember my password.
There is a new man in my life, she said laughingly. I am most fickle and now I am in love with Cosimo Medici – not Lorenzo – I am enjoying the Netflix series immensely. Synonyms are: capricious,, changeable, variable, volatile, mercurial; inconstant, undependable, unsteady, unfaithful, faithless, flighty, giddy, skittish; fair-weather; technical labile; literary mutable. ANTONYMS constant. It is rather pathetic to be crazy about a character on Netflix but these are troubled times. I suppose if a man who lives in Great Britain who was formerly in your life, send you a poem, than that counts for something.
The news from Dubai is that probe that will be going to Mars is now safely in Japan preparing for the launch. It does seem a rather strange time to be going to Mars – but I have a great idea – the should take the coronavirus to Mars, from what I know about Mars – the virus could not survive there. I should be getting a reward for this suggestion but I did not get any money for my contributions to the Happiness Factor (this project was pre coronavirus.) My blog brought laughter discussing such matters as the urinary habits of the men dressed in white and there were 264 views from the UAE at that particular time.
News from National Institute of Retirement Security informing all that the gender gap extends into retirement. The analysis indicates that the median household income for men aged 65 and older was at $57,144 in 2016. For women, median household income that year was $47,244 for women, or 83 percent of their male counterparts.
The research also finds that caregiving, especially spousal caregiving, has a more detrimental economic impact on women, while divorce makes retirement more difficult for women.
“Even before the COVID-19 financial crisis, the nation was facing a retirement saving crisis, with women already at a significant disadvantage,” said report author Tyler Bond.
“As we are on the brink of an economic depression, there is an urgent need to fix the broken retirement infrastructure, especially for women. Going forward, policymakers would be prudent to implement meaningful reforms. For example, changes to Social Security would make a significant difference in retirement outcomes for women – expanding benefits, adjusting spousal benefits and providing caregiving credits,” Bond said.
I do well in my retirement for many reasons – all stem from the decision not to have children – an unbroken record of employment with a public sector defined benefit program, going to law school at night when in my late thirties, the ability to educate myself not my children, pre-nuptial agreements allowed divorce without having to worry about the effect of dissolution upon children.
This, admittedly, is a strange blog – I guess the self isolation is getting to me.
