Monday I saw my doctor of about forty years. There was nothing specifically wrong with me , I had been placed on a new medication for my GERD (which is working by the e=way). But when there I had him sign a document. “I have been the personal physician of Alexis McBride for forty years. It is my professional opinion that she will live to be at least 100”
At first he told me I would live forever- but he amended that, which was fine with me because who wants to live forever? Not me. So insteadI will live to be 100. It is all quite scientific actually, my cholesterol pattern, my long lived parents, my lack of bad habits and a collection of good bones and my happiness. So that is very good news to a certain family. I shall share the document with them with his signature attached. I may be undertaking some responsibilities., ones I have preformed in the past and did a very good job with it all. But they have left my life, leaving a hole. Now hole shall be filled. I was not consulted on the matter but I am fine with it since it meets everyone’s needs perfectly. Sometimes things are perfectly proper and that is called fate and destiny, in my humble opinion. It means suitable or proper in the circumstance. It is suitable, real, genuine, actual, true, bona fide; informal kosher. So this union of people is kosher. All rather unlikely but real and genuine. Most unlikely but bona fide.
I totally lost it on Tuesday – fell apart. I weathered many storms and disappointments when I was in London and Dubai but kept my sanity and my cheerfulness. I reached out to CPI and to Jennifer – CPI had Jennifer call me and then I got better. There has been a great deal on my mind – very difficult to explain. But all the tension is now gone and I am most calm. I was walking on a tight rope, afraid of making a wrong step. I googled it and found it to be a song, the words are printed below.
Ayy
Uh, uh, uh, uh
Ayy
Uh, uh, uh, uh
(Danny, I see you)
Ayy
Hold up, walking on a tightrope
How could I switch on you? This the only thing I know
Stay down and be loyal, now we ballin’ like the pros
Remember when I used to sit and plan it with the bros
Nowadays I’m just sellin’ out these shows
She tell me that she love me ’cause I am a dark rose
I can’t trust nobody, people fake and people fold
You not in my position, I work for this, I was chose
Sacrifices made me the man that I am
If I had to do it, I would go back and do it again
I got money, now they love me, be acting like they my friends
Fuck that shit, I block them out, I’m not letting them people in
Red eyes, layin’ low behind the tint
Remember times running from the cops, I jumped the fence
Now it’s not a problem ’cause I made my mama rich
Fuck them niggas hating, we gon’ throw ’em in the ditch
Hold up, walking on a tightrope
How could I switch on you? This the only thing I know
Stay down and be loyal, now we ballin’ like the pros
Remember when I used to sit and plan it with the bros
Nowadays I’m just sellin’ out these shows
She tell me that she love me ’cause I am a dark rose
I can’t trust nobody, people fake and people fold
You not in my position, I work for this, I was chose
I can’t lie, me and you, we not the same
I started from the bottom, took my time and built a name
They thought I would be dead but I’m still bringing major pain
Sorry, make it rain
Meet me on the side, we fly
Hit the ‘Wood and close my eyes, I’m so high
Takin’ flights to Dubai just to vibe
You can see it in my eyes, I’m so alive
Hold up, walking on a tightrope
How could I switch on you? This the only thing I know
Stay down and be loyal, now we ballin’ like the pros
Remember when I used to sit and plan it with the bros
Nowadays I’m just sellin’ out these shows
She tell me that she love me ’cause I am a dark rose
I can’t trust nobody, people fake and people fold
You not in my position, I work for this, I was chose
Yeah, you’re not in my position, I was chosen
But I never played the victim, I’m a soldier
Thought I told you
Where were you when I was on the floor? Yeah
I need closure, I need rest
I need more drugs, I need less
I roll up my medication, never sober
I’ll be smokin’ on this OG ’til it’s over
My four leaf clover, and I
Push my luck until it’s over
Hold up, walking on a tightrope
How could I switch on you? This the only thing I know
Stay down and be loyal, now we ballin’ like the pros
Remember when I used to sit and plan it with the bros
Nowadays I’m just sellin’ out these shows
She tell me that she love me ’cause I am a dark rose
I can’t trust nobody, people fake and people fold
You not in my position, I work for this, I was chosen
The words do not particularly resonate with me. Resonate’s meaning evoke images, memories, and emotions. Used in a sentence: the words resonate with so many different meanings.Perhaps I was chosen to do something, something I did not seek out but it does seem like a very good idea.
