So, back in April I was bombarded with romantic messages from a man who was a stranger. This was another one – would you not be mesmerized, be smitten if someone wrote this to you? I definitely was and remain still rather smitten!
‘“I keep thinking about the future, about life, and what I want out of it. I keep thinking about us and what this relationship means to me. I keep thinking about these things and I realize they go hand in hand. This relationship is my future; it’s what I want out of life. I want to grow old with you. I want to experience this crazy love forever and ever, and I really think I’m going to get to experience it. I want us to walk through new houses picking the one that would be just right for us. I want to see you walk around our house in a big t-shirt with your hair down and catch me staring at how gorgeous you are. I want you to pull the covers off me at night and then I have to get even closer, if it’s possible, for you to keep warm. I want to see you laugh like crazy at me when I do stupid stuff. I want to rub lotion all over your body because you laid out in the sun too long. I want to hold you when you cry and smile with you when you smile. I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms. I want you to fall asleep on my chest listening to the beat of my heart and know it beats for you, I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I want to see your rough morning hair; I know it will be so cute. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sun set, and I want everyone to see and envy the love that we obviously have for each other.
I would love to see you walk down that isle and I want to take your hand for the rest of my life. I want to spend all night, and maybe the next day, making love to you with an undying passion (sorry to be so blunt).. I want to cook risotto with you and us totally ruin it and end up going out for dinner. I want to sit there talking to you for hours about nothing at all but in the same time everything or maybe we won’t talk at all and just grin at each other realizing how lucky we are. I want you to get mad at me for doing something stupid, and I want you to bust out laughing when you try to yell at me. I want to lay with you in front of a fireplace and keep the heat going long after the fire goes out. I want to take trips with you to places we’ve never been and experience them together. I want us to go skinny-dipping in a hotel pool and get caught and streak back to our hotel room waking everyone up because we’re laughing so hard. I want us to go and pick out the hot tub we want with the biggest grins on our faces the whole time. I want the sales rep to get embarrassed when we sit in them and make sure we have enough room to do the things we want to do. I want our friends to come over and get totally jealous because they don’t share a love like we do.
I want to take your breath away every time I say, “I love you” because you know it’s coming from the heart. I want us to sit down with a box of strawberries, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a mint chocolate ice cream; well, I’ll let your imagination finish that one.. I want to love you and be with you for at least FOREVER or a little longer than forever. I couldn’t really express in words what I’m feeling right now so I decided to share with you SOME of the images and thoughts that have been running through my head”
This is me, Alexis, talking now. Now there are some inconsistencies – I have short hair, so my hair would not be down. I NEVER sit in the sun, so having lotion rubbed all over me, would not be possible. Trips to places I have never been, entirely possible AND the skinny dipping in the pool and laughing like fools – entirely me. Bursting out laughing from a place of rage at him – ME. Buying a hot tub after making sure it fit properly – entirely me. My breath would go away if he said he loved me and the strawberries, syrup and mint chocolate ice cream – YUM.
But upon reflection, this man is not a stranger that I have never met. He is a man who knows me intimately – knows how my perverted mind works, totally digs my playfulness. A man who has not had the opportunity in his life to play. He wants to be a little kid in a sandbox with me – fighting over the toys and giving into me when I insist that I get ALL of them. I have been compared to Lucie in Schulz’ Peanuts, by another man who knows me very well. Sitting there with the Psychiatrist Is In sign. That is me. That particular man, the man who sees me as Lucie, has been in my life for three years.- now relegated to far off shores but always in touch.
There will be more to follow in the next weeks. An email that could form the vows of a marriage as it is so beautiful.
So would the real man stand up and be counted? .
