May 28, 2026
So far it has been a great day. It is not quite sunrise on this the last day I shall be 82. Tomorrow is my birthday and I shall have advanced to my 83rd year which promises to be my best – but who knows?? Only Allah knows.
I woke, after the requisite eight hours, for Fajr prayer. After prayer, made coffee and read a few ages of Idries Shah’s The Sufis. It is so packed with insights, information and knowledge that it is only possible to read about three pates at a time. One’s brain goes into overload. This, for example is one paragraph. “Two main forces are used by those who have no insight, to combat those who have. The first force is of the Men of Power who kill, punish and harm. The second is that of the People of Learning who use deceit, hypocrisy and heresy” page 329.
I am reminded of the wisdom learned in the many days preceding my reversion to the Islamic Faith. Dr. Peter Walsh, an eminent psychiatrist, scientifically opined that psychopaths have an innate, intuitive knowledge of how to please people but at the same time, an innate and intuitive knowledge on how to hurt and destroy people under their sway. I have found it to be so. The only defense I have found is to shun and run because it is not going to be fun. Hahaha. I seem to be a hypocrite magnet – but recently learning how to spot them early on – then shunning and running,
It seemed almost in answer to this insight I looked out the window. The most incredible sight. I attempted to capture it but condensation on the window prevented it a photo. Pink clouds dotted the skies – the reflections found in the Sarawak River. The beauty indescribable, one of those moments where “you had to be there.” And you weren’t – I was alone. Hahahaha
Out came the computer
I began to write. I am thinking of a song and will now check in with Gemini to try to recover the title and the words to the song and get back to you.
Now after a great deal of effort and warding off Gemini’s trying to take over my thinking and inspiration I FINALLY got the title of the song and went elsewhere to get the lyrics .
There was a time when I was in a hurry as you are
I was like you
There was a day when I just had to tell my point of view
I was like you
Now I don’t mean to make you frown
No, I just want you to slow down
Have you never been mellow?
Have you never tried to find a comfort from inside you?
Have you never been happy just to hear your song?
Have you never let someone else be strong?
Running around as you do with your head up in the clouds
I was like you
Never had time to lay back, kick your shoes off, close your eyes
I was like you
Now you’re not hard to understand
You need someone to take your hand, hey
Have you never been mellow?
Have you never tried to find a comfort from inside you?
Have you never been happy just to hear your song?
Have you never let someone else be strong?
On my own I did discover that: “Have You Never Been Mellow” is a song recorded by British-Australian singer Olivia Newton-John for her 1975 fifth studio album of the same name. Written and produced by John Farrar, the song was released as the lead single from the album in January 1975.
She died at the age of 73 after fighting breast cancer for ten years.
This I also learned from doing my own research, not relying on the overfamiliarity of Gemini. “The last words she could say to me was, ‘My sunshine,” Lattanzi said, sitting down to talk to Hoda Kotb with Newton-John’s widower, John Easterling, six months after the “Have You Never Been Mellow” singer’s death at age 73. “And right before she lost her ability to speak, she was making jokes.
I am now filled with gratitude. I have no hereditary predisposition to breast cancer. Looking back through generations of my family, there is no history of it – a biological grace that ensured I would be here at 83. It feels like a path was cleared for me to reach 77 when I found my way to Allah I have let someone else be strong in my life. That someone is Allah (SWT).
Getting back to hypocrites for just a moment. When one looks at their patterns of behavior – they insinuate themselves into your life. Insinuate is a powerful word. Its meaning: slide (oneself or a thing) slowly and smoothly into a position. Then to • (insinuate oneself into) maneuver oneself into (a position of favor) by subtle manipulation. Used in a sentence: He seemed to to be taking over, insinuating himself into the family. Some sneaky synonyms: worm one’s way into, ingratiate oneself with, curry favor with; foist oneself on, squeeze oneself into, infiltrate, invade, sneak into, intrude on, impinge on, muscle in on. The synonyms capture the parasitic quality of hypocrites. Yuck!!! 🤮
Good bye to those People of Learning who use deceit, hypocrisy and heresy against people of insight. Onto the rest of my morning.
I shall share the rest of my morning with you. I looked out the window just prior to sunrise There were pink clouds, their reflections shining in the Sarawak River. There was condensation on the window – with faith in Allah I took several photos, using the editing inherent in my iPhone. Sent the photo to fifteen (I think) WhatsAppers with the following message. “Good morning. This is an imperfect photo. Trying to capture the pink clouds of daybreak reflected in the Sarawak River through the condensation.
I received much disagreement from many.
She: This photo was taken through a glass window. Right? Creating a blurry beauty, although it is imperfect, it has an artistic charm.
Me: Thank you my dear. It was the best I could do. Perhaps it is the best. Hahaha
Then another.
She: Good morning! Still a beautiful photo. Subhanallah. Looks like a painting.
Another response.
She: I want to paint it. Good morning.
Me: Such a glorious day another photo to follow.
Another response.
She: Assalamualaikum good morning. It is perfect in its own way.
Me; It is Allah. Alhamdulillah
Another response.
She: Looks like a piece of fine art. Good morning.
To all responders I sent another photo. This is a photo from my bed capturing just one cloud.
She: Subhanallah beautiful.
Me: Allah’s creation. With iPhone editing assistance.
This another response which ended in a joke.
She: You will become an artistic photographer
Me: I is one. Hahaha She said modestly. Hahaha
But what happened next became, I think, the best thing that has happened to me my whole long life. Connie, my agent Theresa’s assistant arrived and we drove (a mere seven minutes away with no traffic) to the HSBC bank. Met with the bank manager initially and then were able to transact a wire transfer which will almost entirely fund my Sarawak Malaysian ten year visa. You have no idea what that means to me. The joy, the feeling of accomplishment. All of the money transferred was money I earned myself with no help from anyone – my whole life, not just recent days. I paid my own tuition funding all four university degrees. I have a retirement income for the simple reason that I worked for thirty years for the County of Marin. No rich husbands paved my way but separate property agreements kept what was mine, and left them with what they had.
The visa will enable me to live in Malaysia for ten years. I feel so at home in Malaysia. It is the best country ever and the more I learn about it – the more I love and admire it. Its government is compassionate, caring, ensuring the poor are supported with dignity (you will hear more of that later.). The Prime Minister made EXACTLY the right decisions to keep Malaysia out of the Iran war, not taking cowardly sides with the US the way Singapore PM Wong did – putting his country at peril.
Allah (SWT) paved the way for me to be here. Therefore, I know I am on the Straight Path. I look back to determine how and when this reversal of fortune occurred? I living in Penang but I had, because of heedlessness, got in with the ‘wrong crowed’.But then as they say, the tide began to turn. Funny as I was walking along a beach, near the Floating Mosque in Penang. I saw a Malaysian Sister wearing a hijab greeted her saying “Assalamualaikum” and slowly step by step the peace of the Prophet (PBUH) and Allah (SWT) began to descend and has blessedly been with me since. I am surrounded by good people of the faith who live purposeful and meaningful lives – all supportive of me and not usurious in any way. Alhamdulillah.
This invocation is particularly meaningful to me: “Oh Allah. Grant me Your love and the love of those who would elevate me in Your Sight. Oh Allah! As you have granted me beloved favors, let those favors give me strength to do what You love. Oh Allah, Whatever you have withheld from me of what I love, make it an opportunity for me to focus on what I You love.’
Photograph of Sunrise along the Sarawak River and photos from a walk along its banks.
