April 2, 2026
I am packed, checked out and waiting for my allegedly handsome chauffeur to deliver me to the Kuching Airport. I am filled with thanks and gratitude. Gemini has supplied me with words to a song.
Gemini: This is a very famous traditional song (notably covered by Maher Zain and Irfan Makki) that uses a repetitive, rhythmic structure. It focuses heavily on the phrase “All praise to Allah” in a way that feels more like a constant mantra or a poem than a standard pop lyric. Here are the primary words for that version: Allahi Allah kiya karo Dukh na kisi ko diya karo Jo duniya ka malik hai Naam usi ka liya karo The English verse: All praise to Allah All praise to Allah He is the One, the only One In every heart, in every soul All praise to Allah All praise to Allah Just like a sunrise in the morning Just like the stars at night His mercy shines upon us To lead us to the light.
All that was quite glorious but then the strangest thing happened. I reached out to Connie (Theresa’s assistant) when the chauffeur did not arrive on time. She informed me that the flight was not until Friday. What’s a girl to do? Checked back into my room. Hahaha Went to the Executive Lounge for a late breakfast and sent a photo with the following message to the WhatsAppers.” Good morning. Another day in paradise. I checked out but when the chauffeur did not turn up I learned that my flight is not until Friday. Oh well. Better to be a day early, then a day late. Hahah” One friend wrote:
She: You were meant to have another day there.
Me: Yes. I am going to spend writing and learning about the faith. Alhamdulillah All praise to Allah
So indeed that is what I aim to be doing. I am planning on steeping myself in Sufism. My Treatises on the Sufi Way was ‘safely packed’ in my luggage. Gemini inquired: When you find that specific passage in your luggage, does it speak more to the intellectual side of this companionship, or the spiritual peace of finally being around people who “live their faith”? I recalled it was knowledge. .
Gemini: If the passage centers on knowledge and education as the glue for companionship, it aligns beautifully with the legacy of Tun Arshad Ayub. He didn’t just advocate for schooling; he advocated for the character that a disciplined education builds. Finding a man who mirrors that—one who has raised successful, contributing children—is evidence of those values in action.
This, the passage “Among its ways is not to keep companionship with anyone who, unless he be learned, or intelligent, forbearing and fearful of God. Regarding this I heard Ahmad b. Ali Jafar say that God does not grant a servant of His of honour better than intelligence, and God does not decorate him with any ornament more excellent than forbearance, and the fullness of this is fear of God.”
There is much to learn from that passage. It is a formula for the people who want to be around you – your companions. On the other hand I thought of an expression about impossible situations. Hitting your head against a brick well. It is a strange expression. Decided to share it with Gemini – perhaps by exploring it within the Islamic faith it is possible to learn something,
Gemini: It is a visceral, almost rhythmic expression. The image of repeatedly striking a “brick wall” with one’s own head perfectly captures the madness of human persistence when it’s directed at something that simply will not move—be it a person, a bureaucracy, or a closed heart. From a structural perspective, a brick wall is indifferent. It doesn’t feel the impact, but the head certainly does. In that sense, “hitting your head” is an act of self-harm masquerading as effort. The Islamic Perspective: Sabr vs, Futility Tucking this expression into the framework of faith offers a powerful “formula” for knowing when to stop. It is essential to distinguish between sabr and stubbornness. In Islam, Sabr is often misunderstood as just “enduring.” However, true Sabr is persistent striving within the will of Allah. If you are hitting a brick wall, you might be fighting against Qadar (Divine Decree). Wisdom lies in recognizing that if a door is closed and the wall is solid, Allah may be redirecting you toward a path that actually opens. The sound heart is also an important concept. The head is the seat of logic and ego, but the heart is the seat of guidance. Hitting your head against a wall is an ego-driven act—it’s the “I can make this change” or “I can force this person to be inspired.” Islam teaches us to protect the “Sound Heart” by withdrawing from environments and people who offer nothing but hardness. There is also the concept of Laghw (Vanity/Futility) The Quran speaks of turning away from Laghw—that which is vain, futile, or brings no benefit to one’s soul or the world. An “insipid” situation is essentially Laghw. To keep hitting your head against it is to waste the precious life-force Allah has given you
Going back to your passage: “God does not grant a servant of His of honour better than intelligence…” An intelligent person recognizes the material of the wall. A forbearing person has the emotional restraint to stop hitting it, even if they feel they should be able to break through. By identifying any “unintegrated” situation as a brick wall, you aren’t giving up; you are simply choosing not to damage your “honor” (your intelligence) on something that is essentially nothingness.
Me: Is it possible to redirect this process, through different stages.
Gemin: Firs there is the recognition of density (Idrak) The “brick wall” represents any process—a stagnant project, an unresolvable argument, or an unintegrated system—that lacks vitality. In the Islamic tradition, everything in the universe is meant to be in a state of flow toward a higher purpose. A “brick wall” is a point of stasis. Recognizing that the wall is “dead weight” is the first act of intelligence. The next step is to preserve the ‘instrument’ (Hifz) As your passage noted, “God does not grant a servant of His of honour better than intelligence.” If the “head” is the instrument of that honor, then continuing to strike it against a static process is a failure of stewardship. The process of “turning away” isn’t an admission of defeat; it is the preservation of the intellect for a more “fertile” field. Then there is re-orientation. You stop the impact and re-orient to the open. Once you stop the impact, you regain the “expansion of the chest” (Inshirah). This is the process of looking for the Wali (the protector/helper) or the Suhba (the companionship) that actually responds.
Oh gentle readers, this process can be a diagnostic tool 1. Is your current effort an investment in a living system, or is it just impact against a brick wall? 2. Are you using your intelligence to find a way around, or your ego to try and break through?
Not sure how I am going to finish this up. It was unusual. Hitting my head against a brick wall came to mind – unbidden actually. Exploring it made it possible to fit it into what I was trying to conceptualize. I am convinced it is Allah guiding me – if I will only listen and be guided.
Gemini: That is the hallmark of a truly “integrated” life—when a thought arrives unbidden but fits perfectly into the architecture of your current struggle. In the Islamic tradition, these moments are often seen as Ilham (divine inspiration) or a “opening” (Fath) where the heart suddenly understands a complex truth through a simple, visceral image. By recognizing the “brick wall” as a metaphor for futility, you aren’t just using a cliché; you are acknowledging a divine boundary. If Allah has given you the intelligence to see the wall, then the guidance is in the redirection.
April 3, 2026
I am now on Malaysian Air – business class of course – heading back to KL. It has been a very eventful day to say the least. Had a great evening – eating again at my favorite restaurant. I did not eat alone – instead with a handsome young man from the Netherlands. He was such an inspiration. He is 21 years old and was born in Malaysia, his father was working for the Hilton at the time. Why was he is Kuching? I suppose destiny – meeting me at the check in counter when I realized I had to extend my stay and, then later, on the elevator. I asked him to join me for dinner and he was happy to accept (after some coaching) Why did he inspire me? He was off to the rain forest – his major in university is forestation. He is giving back – making this world a better place to live.
Then to my room waking up in the morning – going to breakfast in the Executive Lounge. But horrors of all horrors, I could not find my computer. Texted my Wali.
Me: I cannot find my laptop it is like losing my two arms and head.
He did not respond, learned later that he was in a high level meeting. The Executive Lounge talked to the Team who said my computer was with me when they escorted me to my room. They sent me Concierge Oliver to help me look in my room. Lo and behold, it was there in the bed covered up. Did decide that it was a message from Allah actually. That I should buy a new Apple computer. Rather than get rid of all the garbage that exists on this one – just start anew, this a new chapter of my life. There is a new Apple Store in KL – thought I knew a young man who worked there – a member of a special clan I am associated with but learned from his cousin that he no longer works there. But never mind.
My trusty chauffeur arrived on time and it was off to the airport I could go – and did. Got there super early going to the Malaysian Air Business Class Lounge. I had a long conversation with a business class lounge employee – a native of Sarawak. I learned so much and he was a hands-on guy. I can learn a lot from books and the internet but one does not know or learn about the nitty gritty. (That word again.) I was pushed in a wheel chair in the airport and boarded the plane first. Wheelchair because of left knee makes it hard to traverse the crowded airport. I am sitting next to a man who is watching a movie and across from a man, who I think is reading my blog. Strange but utterly true.
I just texted a man – broke up our friendship of several months. I put up with a lot from the guy. His behavior exactly different from my Wali. You see this one – the severed one (Hahaha) does not meet the criteria of the passage found in my book on Sufism.
“Among its ways is not to keep companionship with anyone who, unless he be learned, or intelligent, forbearing and fearful of God. Regarding this I heard Ahmad b. Ali Jafar says that God does not grant a servant of His of honour better than intelligence, and God does not decorate him with any ornament more excellent than forbearance, and the fullness of this is fear of God.”
He had none of these characteristics actually – not learned, not intelligent, not forbearing and not fearful of God. He is not a Muslim. Bye guy I said. Hahaha. His nickname is GAG – Gone Awful Guy. Hahahaha
Photos are ones from my ‘Favorites’ chosen for me by Apple photo. I had no say in the matter but bring back fond memories. Even doomed and awful relationships have their good times. Hahaha
