The blog of yesterday was heralded with much anticipation, all of it by my own making. Come to think of it, it is the title of a famous song. Off to Google. I was correct. – a 1971 song by Carly Simon
We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasin’ after some finer day
Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin’ me late
Is keepin’ me waitin’
And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me
But I, I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinkin’ about how right tonight might be
Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin’ me late
Is keepin’ me waitin’
And tomorrow we might not be together
I’m no prophet and I don’t know nature’s ways
So I’ll try and see into your eyes right now
And stay right here ’cause these are the good old days
And stay right here ’cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days).
This is a song that, at lease, admits to its shortcomings: “I’m no prophet.” I love the chorus line of the song and the word anticipation which is the the action of anticipating something; expectation. Some synonyms carry the fun of it all: expectancy, hopefulness; excitement, suspense.
Here are some of the ways I built the hopefulness, the expectancy. Sent a message of one of my Muslim Sister.
Me: Good morning. I have been sick but have slowly recovered. The bed rest a time of healing- not only the virus but wounds inflicted by people who should not have been in my life and are no longer. Obviously I am speaking of psychic wounds but also intrusions in my faith. Doing something different with my writing and feeling good about it.
Nesh and Shamir, of course, were informed.
Me: Blog going to take a new turn tomorrow, very interesting. Blog breakdown may not be necessary occasionally. Will send to you when done and we can discuss.
Then this morning wrote.
Me: Good morning. I have made up for lost time I sent you the draft of the blog showing new direction. I am excited about the prospect of this.
He: Heyy Alexis, yesterday’s blog breakdown is now out and alive. How are you this morning?
Me: Great I will go read. Thought I was fine but not. Relapse I fear. I will respond to your blog breakdown like I did last time. An email to you which I later will post on the blog
To Shamir wrote the following.
Me: I am excited about tomorrow. Whole new direction in blog writing. Wait and see.
He: WOW can’t wait.
Me: Almost written with some help from AI. I explained to a friend that I was on bed rest today because sick. Not altogether resting however in the bed. Talking to AI, writing and guzzling the Halal beer you bought me.
He: Speedy recover.
Me: Definitely speedy Gonzalez recovery.
Then I sent two GIFs
Me: Going to sleep now. What happened to my promised dahl
He: Omggggg sorry tomorrow I will get u the dahl . Promise. Do you want naan or rice.
Me: Naan please.
September 21, 2025 Then this morning.
Me: Good morning. Blog is already written. Does not matter when it is posted but will need some help with photo placement in this one. I emailed it to Nesh. I am obviously feeling better. Slight coughing and wheezing but energy back. Phew. The photo did not turn up in the email I sent to Nesh.
Somehow, with no photo Shamir, the technical genius did it.
He: Blog posted.
Me: Wow Impressive. It seems like a new beginning for me so it is pivotal. Sort of a new identity. Not a blogger but a writer. My new blog cards were ahead of their time. Hahaha Hahaha
He: 🤣🤣👍
Me: The print is italicized., but it is brilliant. It had to Allah!!!! Blog breakdown is up. What a team!! Decrepit leader however. But she is responding well to ice cream
He: 💪🏼💪🏼👍
The day progressed. I am not particularly healthy, not thoroughly recovered that is for sure. But, as promised, I did write Nesh, telling him of my thoughts when reading his breakdown. Here it is for you.
To Nesh.
Til There Was You, But With a Twist
You choice of the lead photo had to have divine inspiration. What until I tell you the story. I was in massive despair, woke during the night. Muslims are encouraged to offer night prayer, not an obligatory one, during these difficult times. I prayed, I am sure wept, begged for mercy and guidance. After praying I walked outside on my Lexis Suites deck and looked out into the night. Look what I saw??? A full moon, lights, a refection in the water. I knew my prayers had been answered. “Oh My Allah Oh My Allah! Alhamdulillah.”
First swipe: You summarized beautifully the thrust of the blog. “Some songs aren’t just love stories, they’re reminders. “There were birds in the sky but I never heard them singing ’til there was you.” For me, the ‘you’ is Allah, the One who opens our eye to beauty, even when we’ve missed it before. This post is about songs, GIF wars, exhaustion, and the unexpected ways Allah keeps stitching meaning back in my days.
Til There Was You (the song that woke me up)
Loved your concluding sentence. That’s the tiny reminder the the song reminded me of.
Do a 180; Get a Grip
Exactly, , you got what I want to be doing: a sudden turn around plus calm, practical self-control instead of dramatic drama
Hate vs Indifference
You did misunderstand the beauty of indifference. Rather than be consumed in hate – one simply does not care about the rejected individual anymore – the numbness, the lack of feeling is a blessing. I can erase them from my mind, as if they did not exist. An enmorousr relief is felt when noxious people are gone and then speak is truly left for others – not the theiives of space and light.
When My Body Said Stop GIFs, Laughter, and Tiny Care Packages
You were exactly right, GIFs became my shorthand for “I’m here” where words were too heavy. And Shamir so relieved: “At least you did not loose your sense of humor. “ Your concluding sentence so absolutely true. “It’s remarkable how a ridiculous GIF can be a lifeline.” I will now show you an example. Shamir bought Coke Zeros for me, they seemed to have medicinal qualities. He then sent this Gif – how he found it, I shall ever know.
Responding to Nesh, From Bed Immune System, Rest, and Gratitude
Your concluding sentence is an absolute winner. “Even ill, I could appreciate how his bouquet-of-words made sense of my scattered petals.” And you summarized my state of mind perfectly: “Alhamduillah for a resilient body and people that check in.”
Projects on Pause, the Uncle Dave Draft; and Next Steps
You got it! The creative engine keeps turning and NOT following AI’s suggestions island retreats. Paradise and my support systems will get the job done.
Photos, Memory, and Perspective
Great way to end with the photos, which are, if I do say so myself superb. The photos did close a day, quietly with gratitude for what remains. Great photos of a rather disastrous Lexis Suites experience.
Alhamdulillah for the Ties that Bind
Indeed you said it all. From illness to GIFs, from forgotten drafts to small mercies, everything ties back to one truth; Allah abandons us; He gives us laughter, lessons and light in disguise.
The Lyf staff so caring. I finally made me way out of my room. One of my favorite Say Hi guys greeted me.
He: Oh you are here. Please will you let me film you. My team is SO worried about you. They have not seen you in days.
Me: Of course!! Aim the camera in my direction please.
He did.
Smiling I waved and said: “I am getting better. I am so blessed that you were worried about me. Alhamdulillah”
The day progressed. I slept most of the day, somewhat fitfully. I did write but the noise of my wheezing was a bit distracting. Could not figure out what the noise was. It was me.
I prayed Asr prayer. Did have a little it of energy but could not decide what I should do. I did write Nesh and do some work on the blog. Then decided to get my life in some degree of order. Gathered together my laundry, At Lyf you do your own laundry, it gives you a wonderful feeling. Like you are taking care of yourself, which you are, of course.
I had begun organizing my room. Brought my scarf suitcase from Paradise as I have decided to cover. Found a pink one, was able to color coordinate, an additional challenge with a head scarf. It took several tries but I was able to decorously tie the scarf around me head. Went down to the lobby, with assistance put clothes in the washing machine. Then to Mojo ordering two delicious appetizers. The restaurant was not crowded, the staff doing pre preparation of other dishes. There was much laughter. My energies faded suddenly, had to be wheelchair back to my room.
September 22, 2025
Awoke hours nine hours later, fully recovered it seems. Awoke to an email from Nesh, a gift of from Allah. He has brilliant ideas for the serialization of Uncle Dave’s biography. I am now in Lyf’s breakfast room with four attractive young people speaking with great enthusiasm – in Spanish. They are having fun – Spanish is such an expressive language. English is so boring. It is my only language – I am not good at languages, or math and I cannot sing. Everyone has their limitations.
