There was much ambivalence in the days prior to my birthday. Extensive celebrations had been made for the day itself. Scarcely required actually as the days preceding my birthday brought EXTENSIVE celebrations here at the Jakarta JW Marriott and elsewhere courtesy of the Baby’s bountiful hospitality.
Alina, gently, graciously and magnificently reminded me of my Islamic obligations. An Instagram post succinctly put all in perspective.
The most sacred days of the year are here and they pass by without notice. The first ten days of Dhul Hijjah are a divine opportunity. Not just for performing Hajj, but for all of us. Every act—fasting, dhikr, prayer, charity—is multiplied.”
May 29, the first day in 2025 is am Indonesian public holiday. Fasting on this day is not mandatory but, in my mind, an obligation that must be respected. Therefore, ambivalence rained. Ambivalence the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone. Other words express the pain of ambivalence: doubt, irresolution hesitancy, vacillation, shilly-shallying, tentativeness; conflict, confusion, dilemma, muddle, haziness. Surely the mind set of certainty and decisiveness are preferable.
It seems ungracious, rude and unfeeling to decline the invitations and care made by so many, but I was very conscious. and feeling very guilty that I was being neglectful of my faith.
The resolution of the conflict was described to Alina at the end of the day.
Me: Allah (SWT) in his infinite wisdom brought sickness upon me last evening – all night with gastric upset. I was forced to fast this holiday day. All celebrations postponed.
She: Sorry to hear you are not well Alaa. May Allah heal you with speedy recovery. Aamen.
Me: Thank you. I am thankful for the enforced fasting and the solitude to be with our Creator. Alhamdulillah
She: Alhamdulillah.
I gathered the strength to pray Fajr, but fell back in bed. Told others of my dilemma, receiving support from my Muslim friends. Spoke with friend Yasmin early in the morning. My good morning greeting sent to many contained this news.
Me: Unusual photo unusual morning. Became sick during the night forcing fasting during the day and cancellation of many plans.
She: Many happy returns of the day. May Almighty Allah bless you and guide you. What went wrong?
Me:I feel Allah’s guidance. Had a gastric reaction so will be forced to have a fasting day which is so important in the faith.
She: Yes, that is good
Me: Yes it is indeed great. But I am sure people think I am crazy. Hahaha
She: You are not crazy. You are going on the correct path.
Me: Yes!! Yess!! The Straight Path.
She: Take care and enjoy your day.
Me: I have an appointment for a massage, a facial and a jacuzzi. Hopefully I will feel well enough to make that commitment. So I am taking care for sure.
I drank water, allowed by physicians during my fasts because of my age and was able to feel frisky enough to climb on the elevator and go to the third floor and be indulged.
Oh my goodness gracious! What luxury. Vita was the wonderful woman who gave me the Ultimate Aromatherapy Message then the Radiance Facial. First she suggested a jacuzzi. Most other massage indulgences featured this as the finale. Beginning with it was brilliant as one began relaxed. Then back to my very own room for a foot bath – which was sent to my faithful WhatsApp friends with the caption: “The foot bath, do you not wish you were here??? Shamir replied”
He: OMG Jannah here on earth.
Me: Yes and then a massage, the best ever and a facial. I am indeed experiencing Jannah on earth. But I am not in Jannah yet. How do I know??? You are here with me. You might not be in Jannah Hahaha
He: Yes that it true.
The massage totally heavenly, followed by a facial. Waiting until the end, so I could enjoy the experience in solitude, I spoke. I am not too sure of my exact words.
Me: You have a divine gift. Experienced a massage with a woman of your gifts at the Riyadh Rex Carlton in April of 2024. I remember saying to her that she had a gift, the gift of massage coming from her heart to her hands. I have grown in the faith since that time and we have spoken of the faith and how it has blessed our lives. It is such a gift from Allah, a divine gift that you have – given to me at this time. How unlikely that it is taking place, here in Jakarta, Indonesia when I was born in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Well also unlikely I be in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia—-come to think of it. Hahaha But I was, under very unlikely circumstances. Hahaha
I returned to my room, to read, nap and pray. There was a knock on my door. Having no idea who it might be and being totally surprised, I opened to the door. — and what did I find??? Baby, making a surprise visit, to be there with me for my birthday. Took a picture, sending it to her brother Mohan and Shamir, she and I in my bed. Caption read: Guess who is in bed with me?
After getting dressed Baby and I went to the Spa so Baby could meet Vita. I wore the beautiful gift of jewelry and carried the purse given to me by the Spa.
It was almost sunset, almost time to break the fast. Got dressed, prayed an early Magreb showing Baby the rituals of ablution and prayer. Then we went to the Executive Lounge. There were no dates with which to break fast but there was a fruit that resembled a small avocado. A asked the caring, wonderful woman staff member what it was. She said it was an Indonesian fruit, volunteered to peel it for me. It was a very interesting flavor, never tasted anything like that before. Baby had other commitments, told me she had to leave in fifteen minutes. I hugged her goodbye – stayed eating nutritious food and some bread and cheese.
I returned to my room for Isha prayer and then to bed – to sleep, perchance to dream.
That was my blessed birthday. Photographs will include the Indonesian fruit, Baby and I in bed, photos of Baby, Vita and I at the Spa and photographs of some of the birthday cakes received and eaten in my pre birthday celebrations.
