October 7, 2024
The night before the dawn of the day was explosive with lightning and occasional thunder. It brought relief knowing that I would be staying in all day. Also brought forth awe at the power and force of Allah (SWT) always tempered with His mercy and compassion.
Dawn dawned at 7:05, then soon the delivery of breakfast. But before going either forwards, or backwards, a definition of terms are needed,
Exile definitely describes me; the state of being barred from one’s native country, typically for political, punitive or religious reason. OR a person who lives away from their native country, either from choice or compulsion. I spoke of self-imposed exile – one needs to examine the synonyms of the verb exile to capture my meaning. I have banished, ejected ousted, and ostracized myself from other usually friendly people in order to write of serious matters.
This may become a bit weighty for readers. Therefore, out of consideration there will be glimpses of humor, of the past, of the amusing encounters enjoyed during these times.
Glimpse, a verb, is to catch sight of, to notice, to spot, to spy.
Now that the rules of engagement are clear – we shall proceed. Rules of engagement (ROE) are the internal rules or directives afforded military forces (including individuals) that define the circumstances, conditions, degree, and manner in which the use of force, or actions which might be construed as provocative, may be applied. Just consider this to be war – it is in some ways. Challenging a major power supported by the USA and Isreal – in a sense provoking them – that is war. It is rather amusing to consider – me, an eighty-one year old woman taking on such major powers. I am doing so armed with great vision.
Yesterday was, I thought, my last encounter with the eye surgeon. It was not to be so. I am to return in two weeks. First an alphabet eye exam, then the office visit. This a portion of our conversation.
He: Here is a card testing your close-up vision. Which paragraph can you read?
Me: I can easily read this one, so I will. Then when I get my courage up I will try a smaller version.
He: You do not need to do that. You did great reading the paragraph you did.
Me: But I am an over achiever.
Then the most important question (as far as I was concerned).
Me: When do I get to wear my blue eye liner.?
He: In a month.
Me: A month? A whole month away? Oh no! I love my blue eye liner.
He: You blue eyes are very attractive the way they are.
(I think that is what he said, It might have been wishful thinking. Hahaha)
There was some good news. Eye drops every four hours in both eyes, instead of the two hour in one eye, four in another. This is an example of being an over achiever and being obedient. This morning I set the alarms on my iPhone – the five prayer times and then the four hour eye drop intervals. One cannot leave things to chance when one is obedient AND an over achiever.
This was most amusing. Prior to my appointment the eye surgeon joined me in the waiting area. I smiled, saying:
Me: I wrote about you in my blog. I will read it to you.
I did. He smiled and laughed about the cyclops and the amputation of surgeon’s personality. However, later, it was revealed that he had already read it. Something like that happened to me before, it was a deja vu all over again. This condition, which translates in French to “already seen,” is a transitory sensation of having already lived a totally identical situation at some point in the past. Just did some research (overachieving again) to find this
“There are some other things we know about déjà vu, though researchers aren’t exactly sure why. For example, you’re more susceptible to déjà vu if you: 1) Have a high level of education. 2)Travel a lot. 3) Remember your dreams. 4) Hold liberal beliefs.” That is me.
This actually happened in November of 2019. A man approached me in the lobby of a London hotel.
He: Hello its me, the Sultan.
Me: Hello!! I wrote about you in my blog. I will read to you from my phone.
I did, saying at one point.
Me: OoPs I am blushing.
He: You are!!
Then later, much later, realized he had read it – that was why he called himself Sultan as at the time I did not know his name. Five years later I am having the same experience with my eye surgeon. Blog writing can get you into a lot of trouble. Who was the Sultan? Later found out he was the Crown Prince of Dubai. (Fazza to his fans) If I ever get around to writing about my life – instead of living it – he will be a chapter.
I cannot seem to get myself in a serious mood. Suppose there might be a reason. In my self imposed exile I am having my breakfast delivered instead of going to the breakfast buffet and being around people. I WhatsApped a photo to a friend.
Me: Breakfast brought by a slave. (Star emoji from him)
Me: Please curb your enthusiasm and your envy (laughing emoji from him)
Me: Being a helpful friend I will help you curb both. After breakfast I will go to bed and write. Alas and alack, And make my own lunch.
I sent a sticker of an Arab woman with a Waduh caption.
Then such cruelty on his part.
Me: Laughing at my misery. Cruel man. I shall have a contract put on you.
Sent him back a sticker of a guy saying Ayo Budel which he originally sent to me.
No response as yet. But I have won the sticker competition yet again. Such an overachiever!!
Yesterday my Malaysian friend Noor picked me up and gave me a ride to the doctor, stopping at the E & O, our old stomping ground. A photo was taken, I edited it into black and white. We talked about why I loved the E & O Lounge
Me: This place fills me with nostalgia. It reminds me of my early days in San Francisco when it seemed that everything was possible, that there were going to be good times when peace and brotherhood would reign. It was not to be so. But here at this time, in this Malaysia I have the same feeling.
Noor and I are most dissimilar. She was born a Muslim in Penang. She has her own family and is a part of an enormous extended family – she one of twelve children. We have one thing in common – the Islamic Faith. It connects us and sustains us – has done so since our Medinah meeting July 22, 2023. You will hear more about that propitious, auspicious, heaven-sent, opportune meeting in my serious writing.
Glimpses into more joy, with these providential truths.. When Allah (SWT) gives you a gift a believer is to use it. Allah has given me the gift of writing but also the gift of bringing happiness and joy. Allah (SWT) loves it when one brings happiness to other Muslims. I can practice both. I will spread joy with my writing, not just the serious and consequential things that must be said. Usually I spread my optimism, hope and joy in person. I was being wasted in Canada, a definite Muslim minority country. Then to Saudi Arabia. However, trust me on this, it is almost impossible to make Saudis happy – not all, of course, but many (is not most) are consumed with making and following strict rules, denying their history, and greed is prevalent. As wisely said from a Malaysian friend.
She: Saudi Arabia is fine for visiting, but not for living there.
Me: Yes. Pilgrimages with a group of your own people but not on one’s own. Their travel industry, which they promote, is hopelessly corrupt.
Back to the personal joy I spread now in Malaysia. I was in terrible pain, my sciatica sending ouch messages to my brain. What did I do?? What any intelligent person would have done, Made an appointment at Lex Spa. Both Mira and Amy massaged my aching body. I spread the joy, we laughed almost the entire time, Then after the massage, tea, coffee, delicious sandwiches – a manicure!!! I have blue fingernails to match my blue eyes and I wore blue!!!! Photos will follow.
WhatsApped a photo,
He: Nice. That looks like a gangster pose.
Me: I am a gangster. You already guessed that.
He: A sticker of a guy showing and saying Respect.
Me: Great sticker. Sent him a GIF (with respect of course)
Then spoke of serious matters.
Me: Slightly difficult to explain but when one is on the Straight Path everything comes together so well. You can see how many things had to come together at the right time. It could never be by chance. So you believe that Allah (SWT) guided you.
Not sure what country I am to go to next. I do know that I need to spend peaceful moments here writing of serious matters. Shall now proceed to do so.
As a strange aside. Someone or something on Instagram (Crown_mbs) began following me and direct messaging me. 832 followers, 7 posts, following 186 (if which I am one).
Do I think it is the real thing?
Excerpts from him: “I take time from my royal duties to communicate with people who love me and support my beloved country. Hope we can be good friends? I also believe you must have heard a little about me.
I answer the questions but the responses are non responsive. It is evident that whoever this is has not read my blogs of late. At first request it was unsettling but now I am fine with this. I speak the truth – not sure that this is something either wanted or needed.
This was part of my response to his questions.
Me: I was afraid to come to Mecca for my December 2022 Umrah because I feared you. But I readily saw you had the love and respect of your people. I expected a great deal of you, But admit that I have been saddened to see your inactivity with the Gaza genocide.
There was no direct response to that. Just “Where are you from?”
I have corresponded with so-called Middle East Royalty in the past. I met that individual in London. I have not met MBS. I do know what he looks like. Reels show he is surrounded by guards, dressed in thobes, not uniforms, but clearly on duty. So the meeting would have been memorable.
I often yearn for an ordinary life. It’s not happening.
Photos follow. My morning breakfast, Noor and I in black and white, my blue nails, the gangster pose.
