I am facing another crossroads in my life. Definitely want to be sure that I am on the Straight Path. I randomly leafed through my gifted book The Beautiful Names of Allah preternaturally finding Al-Haadee (The Guide). “He is the one who helps His Creation to get to know Him as being their Lord and Creator, guides them to whatever in their best interests and to earn their livelihoods. He shows people the path of good and the path of evil and guides them to the Right Path whomever of them He wills to his immense wisdom”.
Two days later my world appeared to crumble, Unable to sleep through the night I awoke offered night time prayer. As usual received solace and was able to fashion a new direction. It seems I am at a crossroads. “At a point of decision or a critical juncture, This phrase, based on the importance accorded to the intersection of two roads since ancient times, has also been used figuratively just about as long. Google tells us: Being at a crossroads implies a need for careful consideration and decision-making, often involving reflection or consultation with others.
Guidance came in the strangest of ways. Allah (SWT) made it very clear that I was not on the Straight Path. Immediately, however, provided direction. It came in many forms, most unlikely. I faced major trauma here at Lexis Suites, a place thought to be a sanctuary, a safe place. Shall speak of this later. It was fascinating how the pain was ameliorated – that you shall see. A WhatsApp conversation between Me and Elephant Man followed the traumatic encounters.
He: What’s wrong Ms. Are you okay?
Me: Not exactly. I mean you were there when I was screamed and yelled at by those people. And it was made all my fault. I am not coming out – those people are there somewhere, I am not safe. No one is there to take care of me.
He: Yaa. It’s okay. Just forget about it.
Me: I cannot forget about it I do not feel safe.
Then he sent a reel, made the day before and on the blog and YouTube. But this one had the most amazing message and voice over. It will be attached to this blog and YouTube.
Me: I love this Elephant Man .We should put this on Instagram don’t you think. Thank you. It helps my sadness.
He: Oh yes!!! I managed to make someone happy in their sadness. Yahhh put on Instagram.
Me: We did it!!! What a great team we are!
The Instagram caption reads: I had some trauma here at Lexis Suites. But a Home Grown Elephant sent this to me to ease the pain. And I got a hug. I entitled it Learning From Elephants.
The next day, fortunately forgetting about the past, not living in yesterday; I met my hired hotel driver at 7, keeping my Loh Guan Lye appointment at 8. Loh Guan Lye is a Penang private hospital founded in 1975, its founder is Los Guan Lye. The registration process is exquisitely organized but most confusing. I had been referred to a neurologist by the doctor at the Clinic Bersatu. My systematic allergic attack was apparently caused by a substitute statin I had been given. For years I have had ongoing questions as to my need for statins – deciding my TIAs were actually post traumatic stress attacks. This seemed an ideal opportunity for a professional opinion. It was, by the way, although all the results are not available at this moment. I was sitting waiting for my initial registration when it occurred to me that I had other more urgent medical problems. My eyes and my left knee. Initially sent an email to the ophthalmology appointment desk – bit was returned (poor eyesight makes email delivery difficult)) called the appointment desk and was able to secure an appointment with an ophthalmologist that very day. Never before in my life, with a history of great medical care – have I experienced such efficiency. It was decided that I should see the ophthalmologist first. My eyeballs were thoroughly examined, not only my cataracts but also some slight macular degeneration. Prior to my appointment with the neurologist I sent the following Whats App text
Me: OOps may not be able to WhatsApp for six hours. Eye drops the cause. Going to have cataract surgery. First one eye and then the next a week later.
He: What? Why was I not aware of this surgery days in advance? Did you tell me and I forgot??? Keep me posted when you can.
Me: Still can see. One eye Tuesday September 24, the other one week later. I just got the appointment today. I am telling you in advance. 4 to be exact. Hahaha Now waiting to see the neurologist.
You cannot blame the guy. It is absolutely unheard of, the world over, to have cataract surgery scheduled in four days. There was a recent Toronto Star article which I did not save that discussed the wait time for cataract surgery in both public and private hospitals. Allowing private hospitals to perform the surgeries made the wait for those relying on Canadian government insurance interminable – one could easily die before one made it to the top of the list. However, private hospitals were very slow on the uptake, shall we say. I spoke to these efficient, well qualified Malaysian medical personnel.
Me: I am at the right place at the right time. I was paying $30,000 in Canadian taxes, which included the so-called medical care they provide. I fled Canada because my safety was in jeopardy – the Islamaphobia which followed October 7, 2023 put me at terrible risk. I no longer live in Canada so am not required to pay taxes as my taxable income comes from the US. Private surgery is expensive but $30,000.00 in Canadian dollars with the Malaysian exchange rate makes the surgery downright affordable. AND with better qualified physicians with state of science equipment. The various machines used in my eye ball evaluation were the most advanced I have ever seen. The equipment in Canadian medical facilities is dated – I do remember getting an MRI at one time – the machine was so old it could not resonate anything or anybody. Arrogant men providing unsolicited advice said that it was most important to know the number of surgeries performed by the man/woman with the knife.
Me: Six hundred.
No response from him as he is Saudi and no longer responds to my WhatsApp messages when I dared to challenge him on the superiority of KSA and its leadership.
I will be going ‘bare back’ – not having general anesthetic – a choice I rationally made.
At this moment in time I have not decided whether or not to blog ahead or take ‘sick leave’. Perhaps republish my blogs from a year ago. Hmmmm – perhaps I should go back and read them first. Hahaha, Now that I can still read with both eyes.
At the moment I am focusing, not on the past, but my upcoming surgery. When recovered shall speak of other matters, but first things first. The Quran informs that one must take care of oneself first.
Examine all of these so-called coincidences. I am residing in Penang, Malaysia – the exchange rate makes living in Lexis Suites affordable. ‘Enjoy’ a systemic allergy attack. Go to a medical clinic located just across the street – receive excellent care, return for a follow up visit, get a neurological referral to a first rate private hospital. When there decide to try and get a ophthalmology appointment – email fails so call the appointment desk. Neurologist heavily booked so see eye guy first. Book hotel driver for pick up at three allowing me time for all of the tests and appointments needed. Credit card debt payed off so payment possible.
All I can say is this
Me: It seems Allah (SWT) had a hand in all of this.
Alter Ego: How else can anyone explain this?.
Me: Well any Muslim can understand it. . Non Muslims would just be confused, thinking they were lucky for once but SO frightened – not knowing when the next shoe was going to drop.
This from Whitney English: Anticipating tragedy doesn’t protect us from it when it comes our way. It just robs us of the moments of joy we could be experiencing right now. The best way to combat those thoughts when I catch myself fearing the future rather than leaning into the joy of the present is by practicing gratitude. Choosing to focus on what I am thankful for redirects my attention and reframes my perspective. It doesn’t dissolve the fears, but it helps me not give them undue priority with my thoughts and emotions.
Faithful readers will recall from my September 18, 2024 blog inspiration I received from Instagram.
An Oprah Winfrey reel inspired. She spoke of a poem she received for her fiftieth birthday from Maya Angelou, my hero and inspiration. The poem was called Continue. “ I hope you continue to astonish the mean world with your acts of kindness. I hope that gratitude will be the pillow on which you kneel every night.” Oprah eloquently vowed: “I will continue to astonish the mean world with my acts kindness. I will continue to live in the space of gratitude and move and have my being in all that is God . To God be the Glory.”
I am continuing to live in the space of gratitude and move and have my being in all that is Allah (SWT) Alhamdulillah
Photographs are a strange collection. In order to feel safe in Lexis Suites the other day I ‘covered’. It was an interesting experience – I was able to observe without interacting – I was in disguise, the glasses covered by eyes so no one knew what color they were or if I was smiling or not. The staff immediately recognized me.
Me: How did you know it was me?
He: Your gold computer.
Me: Oh.
One photo a strange door sign found in the hospital One can go to the Shopping Gallery, the Waiting Lounge or get Breast Cancer. Personally I would prefer shopping.
Then a reel of my favorite room found in Lexis Suites. Then the reel of hugging Elephant Man with an inspiring voice over and message.
