I did think I was temporarily ‘over’ my concentration on the evil Musk but there in my Inbox there was more fabulous news from Andy Borowitz. Musk Accidentally Includes Himself in Latest Round of Mass Layoffs. Warning, the beginning is slightly improbable but not tremendously funny. Only slightly improbable because when one daily uses the Internet it is unfortunately true that when something starts to go wrong everything can go wrong.
“SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk’s decision to slash Twitter’s workforce had an unintended consequence, as the billionaire found himself accidentally included among the thousands laid off.
“Musk got a sense that something was amiss on Monday morning, when he attempted to log on to the company’s Slack and found that he had been locked out. Panicking, he jumped into his Tesla and raced to Twitter headquarters, only to discover that his key card no longer functioned.”
This is about to get funny and here we go.
“Musk attempted to tweet a call for assistance, but found that his Twitter password had been changed and his blue check removed. Estimates of the company’s profitability soared after the news that Musk had been laid off, and thousands of Twitter employees who had chosen to work remotely said that they would now come into the office.”
“Profits soar and hordes of employees return to the office to work.” This is priceless! Some of this actually might be true and not satire but we shall never hear about it as Twitter does not exactly specialize in the truth. And how else can you find out what is going on in the world except by reading Twitter?
So Andy aimed his satire and hit the bullseye with Musk. What is Alexis McBride doing with her satire concerning Premier Smith? The answer is: I have been isolating myself from her presence, actions and behavior as I am no longer breakfasting in the Legislative Cafeteria She rules over the Legislative Building as a whole. However, during my last visit to the hallways noticed something most interesting, and actually probable. As you may know, Premier Smith, although advocating for a reduction in ‘big government’ added, not subtracted Ministers . A passerby can locate the newbies as there is only a paper sign – no time for formal lettering on the door. One door in the basement says: Minister of Culture. This admittedly is a rather feeble attempt at satire but here goes.
Dateline: Edmonton. The newly appointed Minister of Culture has filed a complaint against Premier Smith in the early days of his/her taking the position. This act considered shocking by others within the ‘inner circle’ of chosen ministers. The Minister of Labor and Immigration was overheard saying: “You would think only gratitude would be in order – there has never in the history of Alberta government even been a Minister of Culture.” The contents of the lcomplaint was leaked, secrecy act would prevent is disclosure to the general public. The contents of the complaint was leaked, secrecy act would prevent is disclosure to the general public. The Minister complained this the office of the Minister of Culture is in the basement – far from the ivory tower offices of the Premier. “It will be so difficult for us to reach the Premier and she is in need of our services. She is known as the People’s Person, she must be seen to stand above her followers to appeal to the electorate.” This is sure to be a divisive issue and that is one thing that this UCP does not need – more divisiveness. Other insiders have been lobbying for the creation of yet another Minister – the Minister of Conflict Resolution. Candidates may be difficult to recruit due to the amount of overtime that the job would necessitate.
My Legislative morning breakfasts have been curtailed for two reasons. 1) I was treated rudely and with disrespect by a custodial manager by the name of Bill. I have been made to feel most welcomed and valued by every other staff person I have encountered. Could ask he be reprimanded but to whom would I address my grievances? His boss, most probably. Doubt that I would receive a full and fair hearing from Premier Smith. 2) Then this factor was considered. A polite and respectful member of staff suggested that considering my access to the building I not mention Premier Smith on my blog – using the rationale that newspaper reporters are not free to roam the halls of the Legislative Building. Thought and thought about this, Madde the following decision. I would not sacrifice my freedom of expression on a highly important matter just for breakfast – no matter how delicious and inexpensive they are, even when surrounded by Legislative staff members that have been most kind, welcoming, cordial and complimentary towards me. Do remember that I was called Sunshine by one,another kind man provided me with a list of Edmonton Halal markets, another introduced me to library staff to insure that I would be welcomed in that jewel, both architecturally and staffed by such helpful people. Perhaps, and most hopefully my exile will not last forever. It has been said that Premier Smith’s days are numbered. She is not a tyrant who cannot be removed from office. What else are tyrants called? Synonyms are dictators, despots, autocrat, absolute rulers, oppressors. Premier Smith ‘rules’ in a democracy – she can be removed simply, by a vote of non confidence for example. Also, if an election is called then her party could loose its majority hold on Alberta.
It is not the same situation as found in the United Arab Emeritus, where I once lived. During those days I did not dare speak out, not speak of my findings of corruption and greed and working conditions that amounted to slavery. I held my tongue. This was justified, according to common sense and permissible under the high moral standards of the Islamic faith. Under such circumstances those of the faith are advised to leave the group of back-bitting individuals, or, in this case, the evil corrupt country which enslaves its expat workers. I left the UAE, returning to Canada where there is freedom of speech. I encouraged others I cared about to leave, but for many reasons it is impossible. Canada gives lip service to welcoming those of other countries but the waiting list has grown – it is now 2.6 million. That is totally unacceptable but nothing seems to be happening with that. I did have this text exchange with a young woman from Uganda.
Me: You and all workers in your situation must leave. Let the Emeriti clean their own toilets!
The UAE faces fierce competition from Qatar where workers are treated fairly and citizenship is possible after twenty years. Met a Qatar driver from India – every two years he is allowed to go back to his country for six months and this leave time is counted toward the citizenship requirements.
But back to my ordinary existence. I wished for snow and I got it. There is an idiom: Be careful what you wish for. Googled it to find this: “Above all else, the biggest reason to be mindful of what we wish for is that we’re prone to believe we’ll be happier once we acquire what we desire. Social science research has proven that thinking this way is a setup, because the more we get, the more we want.” That was not exactly true in my case. I forgot, in my fifty-five year absence from Edmonton, that along with snow came cold. At this exact minute it is minus nineteen Celsius. At first I reacted to the cold by hibernating – not leaving my apartment for five days. But this had to end. I had a physiotherapy appointment at the Allin Clinic – needed to go to Staples to fax a demand letter. Sorrento Pacific is hanging onto my investments – refusing to transfer it to Canada, refusing even to transfer it to my bank in the USA. It is a nightmare.
Staples is about two blocks from the clinic so I bundled myself up, Sarah took my photograph and off I went. Well… I walked the wrong way, got lost. A wonderful woman from Ghana, walking with her two children, led me to where I was going. It was so difficult to walk on some sidewalks that had not been shoveled. But I made it!! After faxing went to the Beer Revolution and had a hamburger – my first in six months. Beer Revolution has Halal beef. It seemed like heaven.
I posted the photo on Instagram with the following caption:
Me: Ending hibernation. Ready to walk from Allin Clinic to Staples. Mere 2 blocks but went the wrong way. Rescued by a woman from Ghana, Did not freeze to death. Swipe to see my mittens. Made by Brenda Philip, purchased at Alberta Craft Council More about them on blog.
The swipe showed a picture of the mittens. Swiping is. a new technique taught by my assistant SSOMAN (a 15 year old computer genius). Received a response and communicated with my Vancouver cousin.
Me: Do I not look weird. It took a lot of bravery to do it and I had to walk so carefully so not to fall down and wreck my knee again. Got taxi to take me home from Beer Revolution where I had a hamburger. So good day in the end.
She: Well bundled up! It must be cold.
Me: Yes it is. At the moment minus 19. Have an appointment to tour an indoor facility this afternoon as I need to exercise for my mobility.
The mittens are great, not worn mittens in years and years and years. My hands had this conversation:
Fingers: We are nice and warm all snuggled up together. You may be independent thumb but you must be cold.
Thumb: I am cold. I am jealous of you but I do love my freedom. Would not give it up. We will all be indoors soon.