This Promises To Be a Most Uneven Blog as There is Very Bad News; But Good News as Well. Even The Bad News Will Be Tempered with Gratitude; Reoccurrence; Glass Half Empty, Glass Half Full; Ups and Downs; Face Masks as Fashion Accessories; TIA Not Defined; An Unhappy Alexis

The title says it all. I remember back in 2017 so-called friends would say:
They: Alexis, you have your ups and downs.
Me: (Thinking but not saying as I am kind) I would rather be like that than like you – you only have downs.

There was more than one of them, that is for sure and to be perfectly clear, I do not suffer from bi-polar or manic-depressive illness. I was tested and could provide a psychiatrist’s clean bill of health. This world is habituated by two groups of people – those that see the glass as half-empty and those who see the glass as half-full. “A person views the situation optimistically or hopefully. For example, Betty was not upset by the last-minute change, since it gave her extra time—she always sees the glass as half full. The opposite—that is, the pessimistic view—is put as the glass is half empty.”

Then this from Forbes magazine. “Research has found that seeing the glass half full not only makes you happier, it makes you healthier and wealthier. A study by Psychologist Susan Segerstrom found that ten years after graduation, law students who were optimistic earned an average of $32,667 more than their glass-half-empty peers.Expecting good things to happen will lead to taking actions that produce positive results. Expecting only more bad stuff to come your way will keep you from doing the very things that might have minimized or avoided just that!”

This is how my morning began, she said, performing in a positive manner. Personal Driver escorted me to Marin for an appointment with my ophthalmologist. I had previously spoke wit a woman in Walgreen’s where I was waiting for some meds. I complimented her on her face mask. This woman was a half full person.
She: Yes I have a wardrobe of them. If we have to wear them, we might as well make it fun.
Me: That is a tremendous idea. View the damn thing as a fashion accessory.

We chatted away. She was born in Calgary, Alberta and her mother was an an attorney, getting her degree from the University of Alberta Law School. The University of Alberta is my alma mater but my degree came from a night school here in San Francisco – I went to law school at night after working all day.

Personal Driver and I got to Marin well before the appointment time so there was an opportunity for lunch and to Nordstrom’s to purchase face masks I bought two packages thinking there would be two fast masks. But NO – each had four face masks so now I have nine face masks in all different colors and hues. It makes wearing the damn thing rather fun.

But onto the bad news. After the ophthalmologist appointment and upon reaching home I emailed my high school and Uni friend CPI. The subject matter was bad news about eye.
Me: Went to the eye doctor today. Very bad news. But the best of care and magic machines never seen in Vancouver. Follow up appointments tomorrow. Will blog in the morning if feeling brave. Now most devastated. A.
She: So sorry. Do you feel like telling me more? Be brave.

This was an immediate response, read this morning when I woke up. Imagine, getting an immediate response from a high school and Uni friend – she was not busy watching a hockey game. She was there for me. I wrote back this morning.
Me: I do think I am going to blog it. I will send you an advance copy. It is not all bad. More appointments later today. So glad I am here in Marin with my superb medical care. A

So I am so grateful for a friend that cares, I am so grateful to have an incredibly competent ophthalmologist with a superb staff which includes a Canadian receptionist. The office has the latest in technology, all of the bells and whistles.
So first we shall start with the good news. I do not have glaucoma, my retina is fine and dandy, I have cataracts but they do not require surgery and do not interfere with my vision, I do not have an eye infection. But here is the bad news. When texting a far away young woman, losing my vision in my right eye for about ten minutes – I had an eye TIA. This is the third I have had in three years – taking a statin which should, according to my Primary Care Physician, avoid a reoccurrence which means occur again or repeatedly. Used in a sentence: ulcers tend to reoccur after treatment has stopped. I faithfully took the statins – did what the doctor ordered and so it seems rather unfair. I should be rewarded, not punished.

But I blame no one. Certainly not my PCP and am merely grateful that I was able to get an appointment in one day and that Personal Driver can drive me to Marin. I thanked Allah for my doctors, my medical insurance, the state of the art equipment. I did not blame him for the TIA. This is so gratifying, many people are praying for me. I felt the effect of their prayers in the hopefulness and good mood I am in, to say nothing of the face masks. I do laugh.

Two days ago, on Sunday, I was gifted with an experience which filled me with hope, with peace and a sense of direction. I spoke with an Islamic Scholar. He answered the many questions I had about the faith. He was most reassuring and we have a plan, to be spoken of in my blogs to follow.

One thing we discussed is this, I am free to follow the faith. If I were a grandmother, with either Christian or Jewish families, it would be most awkward for all. But I had no children, do not have grandchildren at the present time. Therefore, I am free to follow my faith. It is a strange gift.

My day? Many chores and then to Marin to see my PCP. The biggest question shall be: Which face mask will I wear? Hahahaha I think it is decided.

Photograph is unhappy me – I do have my ups and downs. I have not Googled TIA – it will be depressing and pessimistic. Simply put, it is a mini stroke.

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