I love l laughing, it is my favourite thing to do, especially since sex is rather out of the question I should have received advance warnings and stock piled lovers before being placed on solitary confinement but instead I was busy buying Canadian Rye Whiskey, One great source, of laughter (not sex) is The New Yorker Humour site. Today’s treasure has to do with fashion, written by Colin Stokes. Style Rules You Must Never Break.
“• Don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding, unless it’s a wedding dress and you’re planning to object at the designated objecting moment in the ceremony and insist that you replace the bride.
• Don’t wear white before Memorial Day, except if you plan to object at a wedding.
Don’t wear white after Labor Day, except if you are planning to object at the wedding of the person who objected at your wedding, and thereby win back your ex.
• Dress for the job you want, not the job you have, assuming that the job you want is not one in which you get to lounge around your apartment naked.
• Shorts in the office are a no-go, unless you have curtains hanging from each knee that can be drawn to cover your calves in the event of an official business meeting.
Novelty ties are a bad look at funerals.”
So I hope that cheered, it did me.
This pandemic, this plague, is all rather crazy making, to be at the receiving end of such contrary information. CPI reports:
She: Re: the plague: Small but growing group of “Malthusians” saying enough – the strongest will survive. Seems to me B.C. over-prepared – there are over 4,000 vacant hospital beds, waiting, waiting while the knee and hip replacements wait and wait.
Now, instead of knitting socks for those overseas, we’re making masks for the masses and caps for front line staff.
But then this news from Dubai: “Coronavirus: Crown Prince inaugurates 3,000-bed field hospital in Dubai World Trade Centre has been transformed into a huge field hospital to cater for any Covid-19 patients. The story is complete with a video of the Crown Prince walking around hiding his handsome face with a face mask – such a waste!
The fact of the matter is that most people can recover at home, the only people that need to be in a hospital are ones with compromised systems and chronic illnesses. It seems that Image is SO important to that man, Image seems to be all. Now I do definitely admit to being impressed with the image, extremely impressed. However, looking back at it all my admiration for the man, for the Sultan, was rather like a high school crush, and need I remind you folks, I am seventy-six. It was rather like having a crush on the quarter back of the football team at Ross Sheppard High School in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. But the members of the Royal Family of Dubai were all absolutely darling and they did call me Granny Alexis, so something turned out right and do not forget about the unicorn.
The troubling thing about the pandemic is that there seems to be no sharing of information and , studies showing what works and what does not work. t is a knee jerk reaction That 3,000 bed facility might well remain vacant. It is not my money, that is for sure, but what a waste of money and resources,
Oh well, perhaps I shall search for more humour and laughter.
I found it! This a New Yorker article written by Jiji Lee. How to Cut Your Own Bangs. .
“ You’ve been doing the socially responsible thing and staying home, but now your bangs are so long that you look like a little kid hiding under a table, peeking out from beneath the tablecloth. These unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures—you must cut your own bangs. First, believe in yourself. You’re a natural at cutting hair! Sure, the last time you cut someone’s hair was when you were five years old and playing salon with your Barbies, but those Mohawks were really professional. You’ve got this! You’ve also got sharp scissors, I hope?
Choose a room with good lighting. If you forgot to stockpile light bulbs because you were too busy buying “sweatpants that don’t look like sweatpants,” don’t worry. You can use the lemon-bergamot candles you stress-ordered in bulk for extra illumination.
The article continues until the bitter end: “Lay your hair-cutting tools out on the kitchen table. Pay respect to the brave souls before you who have cut their own bangs, like a matador praying before a bullfight.
Step back and admire your handiwork.
O.K., so you were a little overenthusiastic, and now you look less like Zooey Deschanel and more like a fourteenth-century monk. But rest assured that your bangs would be considered stylish if you were living in bubonic-plague times!”
Yesterday when looking at my statistics, placing the stickers on the globe I used my rusty math skills to learn that I have had over one million views since the inception of this blog. It is phenomenal, which is remarkable or exceptional, especially exceptionally good. Synonyms are: extraordinary, remarkable, outstanding, amazing, astonishing, astounding, stunning, staggering, marvellous, magnificent, wonderful, sensational, breathtaking, miraculous, singular; incredible, unbelievable, inconceivable, unimaginable, uncommon, unheard of; unique, unparalleled, unprecedented, unusual, unusually good, too good to be true, superlative, prodigious, surpassing, rare; informal fantastic, fabulous, stupendous, out of this world, terrific, tremendous, brilliant, mind-boggling, mind-blowing, awesome, stellar, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious; literary wondrous. ANTONYMS ordinary, usual,
So it is all rather breathtaking, astounding and unheard of and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
It is back to work on the Uncle Dave book but his life is seeming rather pale in comparison to the life of his niece. “To pale in comparison is to look weak, small, meager, or inferior compared to something else. Pale here takes the little-used sense to become smaller. It’s the same pale used in the common phrase (less common in the U.S.) pale into insignificance, whose meaning is obvious.