Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall But Pieced Herself Together Again Without the Help of Kingsmen or Horses; Photographs from The Mercury; Wise and Hopeful Words From CPI

Yesterday morning dawned and the words of the nursery rhyme were unfortunately apt.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,”


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

I was unfortunately Humpty Dumpty. The morning began pleasantly; an email from the UK and an “I miss you, come and visit me” from the USA. The man magnet strikes again. But then catastrophe struck. What is a catastrophe? Synonyms abound: disaster, calamity, cataclysm, crisis, holocaust, ruin, ruination, tragedy, blow, shock; adversity, blight, trouble, trial, tribulation, mishap, misfortune, mischance, misadventure, accident, failure, reverse, woe, affliction, distress; informal meltdown, whammy.

What was this whammy, this cataclysm, this blight, this tribulation? A telephone call from Verizon telling me that I owed money and that my phone service would be cut off. It would be a disaster as I was expecting needed funds for rent payment that were arriving by overnight mail but access to my apartment is gained through my phone. So I grabbed a credit card and began to feed in the numbers but when I got to the security code I balked. I had received a number of these calls while in Vegas but ignored them (for various reasons). Here they were back. I knew I did not owe Verizon any money but they had goofed before, more than once actually. But after sheer panic subsided, plans were made. A call to the credit card company eventually resulted in security being imposed upon the account with a new card being issued. Downstairs to to wonderful concierge who informed me that all overnight mail comes to their offices and then a call to my personal driver. He arrived at the appointed hour and we drove to the nearest Verizon office, the only way to resolve Verizon difficulties is to go to the nearest office. The manager Dwight was so helpful – it is all a scam – I am prepaid – Verizon does not “reach out”. Of course I am relieved but not altogether happy – what is gong on with regulation? how do scammers know I have a Verizon account? does not Verizon have some responsibility in warning its customers? On the way the phone rang, it was my attorney calling to set up an appointment which will coordinate with my dentist appointment because they are both in Marin. Then, while at the Verizon office, came a call from the physical therapist saying there is a cancellation and I can be seen on Wednesday. I am in pain and becoming increasingly immobile so this was a vast relief.

My chariot then took me to the nearest Chase bank – the manager is doing everything possible to release the funds from the yet-to-be received check. Emails to the property agent has her on board. Relieved, my personal driver was dismissed and it was off to lunch at Max’s. A celebratory martini and a Patty Melt cooked rare arrived. A phone call and a text resolved some matters that required attention. Stopped off at my homeless shelter – Inn at the Opera – to visit with my friends, the wonderful staff. Arrived home exhausted and in pain. So to bed early after my soothing bubble bath.

One piece of the day has not yet been reported. . A quick trip to the Mercury for coffee and breakfast occurred prior to the Verizon office trip. Such a jolly time was had there, it became fodder for two Instagram posts. What is fodder? a person or thing regarded only as material for a specific use. (Young people ending up as factory fodder.) The first is a picture of me holding a book entitled The Palace of Love.

Me: Here at the Mercury where I found the book that I posed for. I am the one standing on the left.

A Follower: Wow! Beautiful!

Me: Thanks it was a joke.

But then another entry showing authors of great prestige.

Me: Some better titles can be found here at the Mercury.

A had a jolly time while there, joking and laughing with other patrons and adding more followers to Instagram and the blog.

This morning dawned with a gratifying and insightful email from CPI. She was remarking on a situation that only she is privy to.

CPI: Alexis, you are in control of the game (admittedly a rather sinister photo but you blocked further access) your obsessions and the spirit of Uncle Dave.

Me: Exactly the right words! Exactly the right sentiment! It doth bring tears to my eyes but not tears of sorrow.

The two photographs are the ones taken at the Mercury.

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