The following came from Instagram, from someone who follows me. “ I have fought a thousand battles but I am still standing. I have cried a thousand tears but I am still smiling. I have been broken, betrayed, abandoned and rejected but I’m still walking proud. I smile, I laugh, I live life without fear and when I love I love hard. I am humble, I am beautiful, I am real. I am me. “
I was actually rather stunned when I first read the message, but gainfully responded.
Me: You and I seem to be the same person. Hahahaha (and not)
The ‘and not” referred to the laughter part of the message as being the same person is was not really funny. It was eerie. Gainful shall be the word of the day whose synonyms include: well paid, remunerative, lucrative, moneymaking; rewarding, fruitful, worthwhile, useful, productive, constructive, beneficial, advantageous, valuable. When I said gainfully responded I meant that my response was worthwhile, valuable, useful and productive. I was saying
Me: I can identify with that! That is how I feel about myself. So I am dialoguing with someone, not sure who because I have 557 followers and this person does not reveal who they really are. I am starting to get an idea but I could be wrong. It is a rather strange way of communicating but it is working – sort of. Well enough, I guess.
Today is Gay Pride Day in San Francisco and is destined to be a zoo, with all kinds of people everywhere. I hilariously wrote a friend:
Me: Today is Gay Pride Day. I am staying in – naked inaccessible men are not my thing!
He: No response but he is eight hours ahead and he did respond to an earlier email.
He: So being happy may come at a cost, in the very short term. But then, as keynes said, in the long term we are all dead anyway.
Me: I know all of this scene sounds a bit unusual but I am not loosing my mind. Honest!
He: Glad your not loosing your mind; a good tight mind is essential to make good decisions.
Now, he is being very sweet and understanding and attempting to be helpful. It is perhaps difficult for him, for reasons we shall not get into. He is being very brave and I am proud of him.
Getting back to Gay Pride Day – I am not homophobic but I am also NOT politically correct.
Me: I think there should be a Straight Day. It s not easy being Straight.
Several Construction Workers: We agree!!
Me: Yeah! And in this City we straights are in the Minority.
Several Construction Workers: We have noticed that!
I am settling in quite well, thank you. There are some unwelcome surprises – for example I am on a super, super busy street so there is a great deal of traffic noise. There was traffic noise in m apartment in Vancouver. Joo Kim and I were in correspondence at the time.
Me: I cannot stand all this traffic noise. It is driving me nuts.
He: Alexis. It is because it is a city. Vancouver is, by comparison, not a very noisy city.
Me: Thanks! You make a good point. London, where I lived, was a city (as well) but I lived on Coptic Street which was very quiet and in Dolphin Square and the large courtyard and trees softened all sound.
Faithful readers will remember that major decisions will be made about Dolphin Square and their development plans will be ruled upon soon – but even if passed, their inefficient holding company will not have the money to fund the silly massive proposed redevelopment. I was more than a little miffed at Dolphin Square but I did follow Uncle Dave’s adage. I did put in a fight but gave up – went to the sidelines and they did themselves in. (For background type Dolphin Square into the search engine of the blog)
I had the best morning, waking up early and blogging but then going for coffee and the drug store. Great coffee at Ritual and all kinds of families at the park, the sun was shining. Spoke to three guys as we sipped coffee. Then on the walk home I congratulated Steve who was cleaning street debris. I congratulated him and we fell to talking. He has been living in Hayes Valley for sixteen years and told me some of the history of the area. I think that this is the first time I have lived in a real neighbourhood. I am LOVING it. I feels like I have come home and I am not happy. I remember that another Steve teased me about my early enthusiasm over Dolphin Square and I do have to admit that he was right as I learned to hate it. But I did have those early moments of joy and enthusiasm and in the long run I got even. One could not wish for a better outcome.
Yesterday in the midst of my Verizon horrors I sent computer guru Chris an email not knowing if it would go through. This is what he sent back.
He: 10-4 roger that over and out red leader!
Me: God damn I love that phrase. It is going on the blog.
Another message from Instagram. “The verb to love is difficult to conjugate. Its past is not simple, but present is only indicative , and its future is always conditional.” This from a man who I know but I refuse to speak to him, but I accept the written word from him. He hurt me. But he did write: “ Love is like a butterfly he is out of touch when we hurt him, but if we leave him alone he may have landed on.”
I can hear many of you saying:
You: That woman has a weird and rather unbelievable life.
Me: I totally agree!
The photographs are a couple of murals in this wonderful neighbourhood.