I woke up this morning to an email from FPM and my blog of yesterday with its related stories. I am beginning to think that this is not a good idea because of the disconnect mentioned in yesterday’s blog. But in a way there was connect. FPM, just returned from Israel, but now will be traveling on business to the USA, Europe and the Arctic for four to six weeks. He is an extremely ambitious and driven man. Eerily one of the related stories was about my fierce ambition (apparently from an early age) and the recent revelation (provided by F guy) that he observed my driven behavior over the fifty years of our acquaintance. So it appears that FPM and your truly have something in common, although I am at the end of my life, retired from my career and he is at the cusp of his power. I suppose cusp will be the word of the day: a point of transition between two different states: those on the cusp of adulthood.He is, I am convinced, going onward and upward. .
I went back to Jingza Ramen Restaurant, the place i met FPM, (former Jingza Ramen Man) on July 11, 2018. At the moment FPM is the wallpaper on my phone and I showed everyone and reminded them that it was there we met. Some did recall that fateful encounter. I laughed with the charming manager telling her that we would not be getting married but if we were – we definitely would HAVE to have the reception at the restaurant. I must tell FPM about this encounter although I do think he reads the blog. One never knows with those busy guys, traveling all over the USA, Europe and the Antic, Read my blog? Not read my blog? Who knows? At least he has a portable device and occasionally knows how to use it. I laugh with him about all of his system failures, he jokes back. We are having a jolly time.
But what does it all mean? I do not think we are going to get married, have six kids, three of whom go to Harvard. Very early on he called me his soul mate. I was immensely flattered but not sure what it meant. So I am taking time and effort to explore the concept and it is fascinating.
My research began on line. Three quotes struck me as highly meaningful.
This quote from Thomas Moore brings tears to my eyes. “A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and consuming that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, bur rather a divine grace”
This quote from Richard Bach is more complicated; “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise.”
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the art of me that you bring out. This by Roy Croft, whoever that may be.
But not satisfied with the on line search – it was off to the Vancouver Public Library. The woman at the Information Desk suggested an on line search but I demurred, telling her I wanted a book. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. she discovered the perfect one. It is Stephen Cope’s Soul Friends. This is from the book jacket:
“ Most of us will have many friends throughout our lifetimes – friends of all shapes, sizes and callings. Many of these are wonderful, meaningful friendships. Some are difficult. But some magic few of these are connections that have gone right to our soul. These five or seven or ten friendships have been powerful keys to determining who we have become..These are the people I call Soul Friends.”
Have I ever had a soul mate before in my life? The answer is yes and one was my niece. She is no longer my soul mate. The reason for that may be found in Shakespeare’s Hamlet: To thine own self be true. She somehow lost the ability to be true to herself and that signaled the end of our relationship. Polonius says this to his son in Act I Scene 3, it is translated into common usage English. :
You’re still here? Shame on you—get on board! The wind is filling your ship’s sail, and they’re waiting for you. Here, I give you my blessing again. And just try to remember a few rules of life. Don’t say what you’re thinking, and don’t be too quick to act on what you think. Be friendly to people but don’t overdo it. Once you’ve tested out your friends and found them trustworthy, hold onto them. But don’t waste your time shaking hands with every new guy you meet. Don’t be quick to pick a fight, but once you’re in one, hold your own. Listen to many people, but talk to few. Hear everyone’s opinion, but reserve your judgment. Spend all you can afford on clothes, but make sure they’re quality, not flashy, since clothes make the man—which is doubly true in France. Don’t borrow money and don’t lend it, since when you lend to a friend, you often lose the friendship as well as the money, and borrowing turns a person into a spendthrift. And, above all, be true to yourself. Then you won’t be false to anybody else. Good-bye, son. I hope my blessing will help you absorb what I’ve said.
I sense that FPM will always be true to himself and shall always be true to myself. Therefore, it does seem that this connection has gone to my soul and shall stay there. I suppose time will tell but I am confident. I leave the writing of the blog to read more of Soul Friends.
The photograph is one of rice pudding, the most delicious ever tasted at Scoozi, an Italian restaurant on Howe in Vancouver. It was the best rice pudding I have ever eaten in all of my 75 years.