So this cheery blog will begin with a tidbit from British friend David’s recent joke email (more to to follow later). “Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. “The email ended with this caveat:
“If you don’t send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.”
Now by sending the email to me David met his obligation and, moreover, on the blog, hundreds of people are going to be laughing. David did not realize the significance of my usefulness when he and his partner Greg met me at the National Theatre in London England in 2015. That asking me to join them for a drink after the performance would eventually lead to his jokes being spread throughout the free world. The three of us have had some wild and crazy times. Greg is an altogether sweet man but.David can drive me out of my mind as he can be late, overly booked and not sensitive to my ‘being on time’ needs and the occasional need to relax and mellow out. But boy, have they been there for me!!! I became a total basket case on March 16,2017 as I thought my life was over because I was leaving London, rather under protest as my student visa had expired. I was not planning to settle in Vancouver at that time. The plan was to be in Vancouver, go to San Francisco for medical care – then come back to Vancouver, hop on a train, travel across Canada stopping at Edmonton and then a long stay in Regina, Saskatchewan, finishing the Uncle Dave book on his home territory. Then it would be off to Toronto where I would sort of settle in but get a visitor’s visa and go back to England for many months. But those plans wee dashed when I was kicked off Via Rail – more about that later. So I ended up staying in Vancouver, becoming Trump International Hotel’s first long term hotel guest and the rest, as they say, is history. At first I was ecstatic to be living in Canada – but not so much any more. I am comfortable for right now – loving my apartment but I might be moving on at some point., to places unknown. There is not much to hold me here, this is a strange city. But enough of that musing.
Yesterday I began the day by reading the blog Chris had posted overnight from London. I quickly fired off an email to Chris with the subject line: OMG this is funny.
Me: Hello my dear friend, I woke up this morning and read my blog and about died laughing near the end. I was walking on Hornby Street – not Horny Street. So I changed it and perhaps you can repost when you get a chance.
He: Ok great I did wonder 🙂 x
Me: You slay me Chris – I am laughing so hard! I mean this is sin city but having a Horny street in downtown Vancouver would be over the top. xx
The day progressed with a trip to the bank and to Shopper’s Drug Mart because Thursday is Senior’s Day and I get 20% off. Home for a long telephone conversation with Tracey making plans for lunch next week. Then something almost magical happened. I listened to a pod cast from Ideas CBC Radio on near death experiences. It was mind boggling. My motorcycle accident, September 13, 2014 was a near death experience. The last ten or so minutes of the pod cast talked about the personalty changes wrought by having a near death experience. My goodness, they were talking about me – well not literally of course. But it explained everything and it continues to be transformative. All of the former people in my life complain that I changed – well that is why. I will write about it more later as I made notes and will refer to them.
I realize I continue to have my faults. For one thing, I do admit that I crave attention. Sometimes I have had to pay to get it. I was in therapy for years and years and years. That is paying for attention. Then, cf course, there was Hottie, my personal trainer. He did not come cheap either. But now there is this new guy – not quite around – but with phones and the internet – around. We spend a great deal of time laughing our rear ends off and it is rather addictive. My humor makes me irresistible:
Me: I am irresistible. Hahahahaha
He: You sure are. Damn. How do you do it?
I did tell him but I am not telling you. Then we talked on the phone for over an hour and we laughed so much.
He: You are so much fun.
So I can be a kid and it does seem like we are two kids playing in a sand box with lots of toys. It is not hurting anyone and he is almost age appropriate. I texted this guy:
Me: You are crazy to be pursuing a relationship with me. If I were you I would get out when the getting is good.
He has not responded as yet. But he will probably just say: “You are so funny.”
My goodness F guy – I quit the gym and everything but my life still seems to be: Too Many Men; Too Little Time.
The photograph is a selfie of me after the motorcycle hit me. And the guy totally got away with it.
