My Utterly Weird and Bizarre Life; VAG; The Loo; Alexis as Television Star; Olympic Village; Sugar Highs; and Questions of Conflict Resolution

Don’t faint, you will never believe this, but I am in my living room watching television and what is on? Well the Royal Wedding – it is a replay apparently, I think it already happened. So they are blabbing talking about the surprise of the dress and I have seen it and in my humble opinion it is not much. The one purchased at My Sister’s Closet for five dollars (Canadian) is much more attractive. A picture of that dress will be revealed to you when Pierre the Handyman comes and places it above my bed. No that is, a readily admit, a bit weird but when I tell you about my day you shall absolutely faint yet again.

There was blog writing and then got dressed and went to Vancouver Art Gallery to ‘speak’ to three paintings in the Herman Levy Collection. I went to the loo, not an unusual thing to do but there Catherine was on the phone inviting a friend to her birthday brunch the next day. Catherine and I began a great chat, both of us Geminis and she invited me to brunch with her other women friends. Of course, I am going – she used to live in Vancouver but it was too expensive for her and she moved to Michigan. This city’s housing expenses are atrocious, worse than anywhere in the world. I have this strange habit of meeting women in the loo. I met Jordan in the loo of the Sausalito ferry and we are really incredibly close constantly exchanging Instagram messages and emails. We are not physically close as she is going to law school in Melbourne Australia. I am attempting to match her up with Sir Richard of Hot. I am putting a lot of effort and energy into it. We shall see, they would be ideal together and would be such a cute couple, better than Meghan and Harry even.

The staff at VAG are so sweet to me – finding another stool and chatting with me about the project and about art in general. I sat with two paintings and then realized I was starving and went upstairs to the cafe for a yummy lunch. I complained that they were making it so difficult for me as there were so many choices. I rather accidentally ended up with dessert, a pear and apple crisp. Then back downstairs to sit with another picture – a Japanese wood block. Then walking homeward I came across a filming crew and guess who they ended up filming? Alexis Janice McBride. So now I am a television star – or will be. It is web TV. Of course, of course I put it on instagram interviewing the producer and the cameraman. So go look at alexistwit and there I will be. I did it in black and white. Oh, it is on FaceBook as well. I already have lots of Instagram likes, one from Jordan with two hearts. Now what is the chance of all that? I read the film crew the blog of the day with my astute comments about Canadian taxation. They were impressed with both that and the answers to the numerous questions they posed about money and savings. So then it was homeward bound.

But this is what was going on behind the scenes. I was in serious Instagram communication with a really cute guy – he reached out to me mostly praising my sense of humor. So he is good looking, he is apparently single, he has grey hair in his hair and beard so he might be sort of age appropriate. The problem? He lives in Belgium.

Me: Just what I need, some guy that lives in Belgium

He: I travel on business.

So at some point in this conversation I asked him was time it was there.

He: 2:19

Me: Silly, you need to go to bed.

He: You are not my mother.

Me: I am old enough to be. Hahahahaha

He: I cannot believe that you are 75.

Me: Do you want to see my driver’s license or my passport?

Now that is so funny and so unlikely. New readers will not know this but I began this blog for two reasons and a secret reason.

1 To get even with London City University and Dolphin Square and other Institutions

2 2. To promote the future biography of my Uncle Dave Dryburgh AND

3 To make a man fall in love with me.

My high school friend Lynne, knowing something of my private life, sagely commented:

She: Alexis, your over did it.

Me: i think you are right.

Brother, little did I know the impact of Instagram. The man today is not the first one to be ‘captivated’. But to be clear, nothing has come of anything.

Instagram brought me wonderful news. A young woman with whom I had a special relationship messaged me that she had a grade point average that is HUGE. I am so proud of her.

Me: But I am not genetically related to her. So I cannot take any credit for it.

Gail: No you can not.

Me: But I took cupcakes to her classes for her birthday all of the time. Does that count?

Siren Hammer (a nickname): I hope not otherwise there will be massive amounts of sugar highs and rotten teeth as Grannies try to influence their young ones.

Last night was drinks and dinner with E.H.B. and a true miracle. I got out of Yaletown and went to Olympic Village,

Me: How do I find it?

She: Get in a cab and say: “Take me to Science World”

Me: Great idea, why did I not think of that?

But I had a strange telephone call when I was there. Earlier in the day I had an interview for a volunteer position at My Sister’s Closet. One of the questions (strangely) was how I would resolve conflict (as I guess it must be an issue amongst the 62 volunteers). I answered reflecting my knowledge that was approved by an imminent psychiatrist. The interview went well – I know about clothes having worked briefly at J.Jills and I do love clothes and were wearing some purchased there. So I was surprised when the volunteer coordinator said that the executive director, the boss wanted to question me about one of my answers and I would not be ‘approved” until then. I calmly responded:

Me: Oh, I cannot imagine why that would be necessary. Therefore, I withdraw my application. But I will continue to shop at the store.

She: speechless

My goodness, volunteering at a dress store and they do not approve of my answers to conflict resolution? Honest to goodness, that happened and talk about bizarre. My reality testing is excellent. So I guess I will have more time to write. Not a problem. I am fine. How weird however.

The photograph is proof that I actually did make it all of way to Olympic Village. You are going to have to take my word for the rest of the stuff.

So nothing has happened with this wedding stuff on the replay during the time I wrote this. I guess I need to watch it because of the wedding planning for the Poo-McTwit nuptials. Bet you thought I forgot about that. I did not. You shall hear about it more later but I am planning to go to Edmonton, where the Canadian nuptials will be held. I will be staying at the Fairmont Hotel MacDonald, the proposed slight. I am going for another, very poignant reason.

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