My Life is SO AMAZING; and Other Thoughts; and You Do Not Even Know the Back Stories; A Wedding Dress; Not the Granville Market Today; And A Tune

I laughed with Cousin Gail during our telephone conversation this morning:

Me: I have to have an uneventful day today. I am getting behind – I did not blog about yesterday! I am getting behind!

She: I know you can do it Alexis

Gail is so damn funny – it proves a scientific fact – a sense of humour is hereditary. Do the search engine thing – Dryburgh sense of humor will do it for you and you will see that I have spoken these wise words in the past. Damn, some of us are funny!! There is Gail, Geri, Faye and Pat. All of these women are my Dryburgh cousins and they are SO funny. And Faye married a funny guy whose name is Larry. The three of us (Faye, Larry and yours truly) came up with the names for the fictionalized story featuring Kim Mee Poo, Alicia McTwit, the Rump International, the Twice-A-Year-Gym. It was during a down period in my life but it did certainly cheer me up!! We laughed so hard. A sense of humor does beat Jesus and I say that on Good Friday. How stupid – a national holiday – Good Friday – give me a break??? Even the good old USA has the decency not to make this a statutory holiday. Get a grip Canada!!!!! And practically everything is closed. It is like stupid London on Christmas Day. But my favourite place on earth (these days) Shopper’s Drug Mart IS open and so therefore I can get groceries. Where would I be without them??? I joked with the pharmacy man.

He: Yes, we are even open on Christmas Day.

Me: Thank God! I am so grateful!

He: We will be there for you!

Me: You better be! I was a California lawyer and you know what that means.

He: Yes Sir or Madam or whatever you want to be called

Me: But you have got to start selling booze!

He: I do not know if that is possible.

Me: Well, you have drugs, make those available.

He: But I need a prescription.

Me: Do something about that! I will try and get one. I can do a lot. I got an MRI within days, if not weeks.

He: Impressive!

Yes, it was and that is why I am getting sick and tired of Canada. I am rethinking my permanent residency in this country as the medical system is SO flawed. I know what I am talking about – you self-satisfied Canadians. I do not want to grow old here because there are no general practitioners and they are the gate keepers to all medical care, And even my first husband agrees with me – he now lives in Victoria and we have talked about this predicament. Yeah, and we have been divorced for something like 44 years. Wait until you hear that story! It concerns the Burrard Bridge, here in Vancouver. A well kept secret is that I did live in Vancouver at one point in time. When I was thirty I think. It was short-lived and it was a betrayal. I worked for the Canadian Penitentiary Service (as it was called then). One does not fwmmcb or mess with my little girl. The BiG girl gets you in the end – dear. I do demand respect and #1 is not showing it. I have changed, I do not give a s**t whether or not people ‘like’ me. Paradoxically, it makes me so much more likable. I have NEVER been so popular and I used to work at it. dnefwmmcb.

So it was a strange day. At one point I decided to walk down Granville Street, walk over the Granville Bridge and go to the Granville Market. But something intervened and I stopped at My Sister’s Closet and ended up trying on a wedding dress. Then I decided to just go home – I posted the picture on Instagram (it is on this blog). I am ending up at home at my computer after getting groceries at Shopper’s Drug Mart and then other totally AMAZING things happened, not to be revealed. But honestly, there was Hottie driving a car on the proper side of the street and now I have three committed dates for one night next week. Yes!!! And they are all so handsome and so fit because they are trainers at the Equinox – Alexis’ Equinox with Art – perhaps asking too much, but perhaps not. I include the picture of me in the wedding dress in the off hand chance that you doubt my veracity. FOOL I write this to a tune – an amazing one I downloaded from Apple. i think it is prophetic – I weep and I kid you not. The song is Change. I emailed a person who I adore and told her: “I am so scared but do not worry about me.” I am SO scared but I am preceding in bravery and courage. I am surrounded with love – not the usual sources. I pity you with your usual sources – it seems I have an army, a well equipped army. But I ain’t going to be Joan of Arc- not into flames and bondage. I guess the is just me. Hahahahaha. See what I mean about the joys of a sense of humor. Thanks Mom and Dad – it is heredity. My parents gave me the tools to overcome their terrible abuse of me. And living well is the best revenge. GOTCHA!!!

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