I have the funniest of friends – I do admit that I bring out the funny in people; it is a rather bizarre gift. Friend Lynne said in a recent email that atheism is a non-prophet organization.
She is a member of that organization as am I. But lots of really great things happen to me and it cannot all be due to chance. On the other hand, lots of bad things happen to me as well but I have this gift which is the ability to accent the positive, eliminate the negative and not mess with Mr. In Between. Perhaps I should put that to music.
Here is another example of humour. I was training with Hottie at the gym yesterday and telling him of an amazing experience I had some months ago at the Ivanka Trump Spa, (heard of her, hahahahaha). My masseuse sang to be at the conclusion of the bath ritual.
Me; It was incredible. I was so sad and upset at that moment and she sang: “Smile Though Your Heart is Breaking.”
Hottie: I don’t know that song.
Me: OK I will sing it for you.
So I did. “Smile though you heart is breaking. Smile even though is aching. Although a tear may be ever so near.”
Hottie: (with a totally straight face) You should become a singer.
Me: (after an extremely long pause, followed by the loudest laugh ever heard on West Georgia Street.) Oh Hottie, you are totally pulling my leg! I know I cannot sing, I can do many things – but I cannot sing and I am not good at math. I always tell people and so I know I told you before, but it is not that you could not tell.
After my training session I went next door to the 49th Parallel and had a donut and a flat white. Hottie forbids me to do this, so I just never ask or tell him where I am going next. Problem solved. So I sit and enjoy my old fashioned glazed donut and start chatting with the people sitting next to me. The woman says that she sees me all of the time at the gym – well she says she hears me, my laugh and al.
She: All those young trainers, They love you!
Me: Yes, I know! And I love them back!
Now you won’t believe this BUT at that very moment who should walk in but Matt and Irish Cream. Matt sits next to me and Irish Cream pitches in and puts the video from the library on Instagram. (see yesterday’s blog). So that is done. I am somewhat chagrined to hear that I say the f word on the tape but I was more than a little miffed at the stupidity of the library. There are no systems and sheer pandemonium took place. And apparently, as the video reveals there had been a similar incident the day before. In the courtyard of the library there was a huge gaggle of staff standing nearby chatting away. It just occurred to me that they might pull the fire alarm on purpose just to get a long break. Stand outside, have a cigarette and wait until the “All is clear” sign. Now I love that library but there are no signs making finding the loo a strange treasure hunt and now there are frequent fire alarms. I guess I will have to speak to the head librarian – or not. It is not my problem for two reasons: 1) I now know where the loo is and I never forget a loo (see Instagram of me in SF) 2) I just won’t leave when there is a fire alarm.
Problem solved!
So a bit later I went for my mani and pedi. I spent hours there and actually had the best time chatting it up with other customers. There was a woman who worked for Air Canada (my most unfavorite and I told her so). Her birthday is a day before mine but we won’t be celebrating together because we will not be in the same city. Then the cutest couple came in. He was a virgin having a pedicure for the first time. We all laughed together.
He: Look at my feet, they are looking so good.
Me: Well that’s good. You have to have one attractive part and that’s it.
Of course, I was kidding! We all were having such a jolly time Amy said she was so glad to see me as I am happy and I make her happy. Well, I am and can be happy on the outside but I did cry more than once yesterday. Once was at the Aldo discount store on Granville when I sobbed:”He is ruined! He is ruined! I feel so sorry for him!” The sales clerk said she was always there and could come back and talk to her. i am going to do that. I cannot be cheery with everyone.
After my nail job I went for Greek food at Stefano’s. That is the place where the Chinese man threw water at my face last May (I think). I had the best of time and the best of food. The manager was a bit surly but no one seemed particularly troubled by him so I guess that is not my problem wither.
Then it was home and a long telephone conversation with cousin Gail. I am facing a dilemma so the topic of discussion was: “What would Uncle Dave do?” That is often my guiding light. So I decided that the fallowing words were applicable: “Stop fighting Alexis. Just stand on the sidelines and they will do themselves in.” Apparently, that is what happened.
Then I went to sleep and I had the strangest dream. I believe in my dreams and often write them down and analyze them. So in the dream Uncle Dave was being honored by the people in Saskatchewan – he and two other men. But they spelled his name wrong. In the dream I thought: “What difference does all this make if in the end they spell your name wrong.” Now that is very profound when you come to think of it.
The accompanying video is one I did from the nail place which is Fingertips on Davies.
