Behind the Scenes: a Family of Choice: Blessings and the Street Where You Live

As the expression goes I am not just a pretty face, someone’s future third wife or a woman who is reported to hang out in bubble baths. I am a mother and I am going to tell you about my wonderful family. In real life I am not a mother, choosing at an early age not to have children. The first known report of this determination was at the age of fourteen when I told friends Jenny and Beth that I would never have children. They did not take me seriously at the time but as Beth accurately noted two years ago in London, England I did not. She was visiting me from Edmonton. 
I was aided and abetted in this determination by the Women’s Liberation Movement. There is a tendency to forget that in its initial phases the movement, for the first time in history, gave women the choice to either have a career or have children. This momentous moment in time was coupled with the invention of the birth control pill. So voila. But this got corrupted early on and quite quickly women had to do both: have children and have a career. It is all but impossible and what a horrible burden on everyone. Particularly unfortunately on the poor children. There is nothing I can do about it except pay attention to children when I am around them. It so irritates me when I see children being ignored for cell phones and I blogged quite eloquently about it on June 22, 2017 et. seq. I stood up for children both born and unborn. 
But back to my role as mother, this family is ever expanding. Son Jay said, surrounded by Son the Crooner and daughter Triple O – “We are reproducing like rabbits.” There are slight problems with sibling rivalry but I assure the clan that I have enough love to go around. I do and love grows and expands when nurtured. So there! So there! 
The first child to be adopted is the Number 1 Son, also known Son, the Crooner. He is 40 and from the Philippines. You will hear more about an awesome humanitarian project that he is undertaking – he sponsors children at a school and will devote a month of his precious vacation time to go and be with them. I will interview him and give you all of the details in a later blog. Number 1 Son is very funny and entertains his mother. We laugh and laugh and laugh, much to the chagrin of the manager of the restaurant. When the three of us were together the other day Number One son exclaimed: “We are having a family reunion!” Of course we all laughed and then Security rushed in – stifling joy seems to be their job description. 
The next adoption was son Jay, also from the Philippines. He works as a mixologist at the Mott 32 Restaurant. We have intellectual discussions, he is wise beyond his years and I learn a great deal from him and he from me. It is a two way street. 
Then along came Gabriel, also a mixologist at the Mott 32 Restaurant. His profound insight was included in the June 24, 2017 blog” It was back to the Trump International Hotel where Gabriel said, and I quote: “You are the funniest woman I have ever met.” I used to bring Gabriel jokes from a British man but that will not be happening anymore. 
But Ii branched out and, lo and behold, along came a daughter. A daughter with a nickname of Triple O. She is such a prize. All grown up and successful without putting her mother through the painful years of adolescence. She needs a Canadian family and now she has one. 
But very recently there became a marvelous surprise. There was an adolescent i did mother. I was living with her father, working full time, driving to law school four night a week and I suppose cooking. She, approximately 14, was having problems in her life and I suggested that she come and live with us. She did but later her father and I separated, I moved on to husband number 2 and we lost touch with one another. But thirty years later she came back. She said in an email: “It’s good to hear from you.We had a lot of good memories together, and you helped me a lot back then, I don’t know if you realized that.I hope you are well.” I wept when I read that and responded that it made me joyous, that I want to have a good effect on her and the absolute magic of hearing from her again gladdened my heart beyond measure. I said to her:”I promise we will never loose touch again.” She lives in New York. I intend to visit her soon. 
I received this joyous news when I was in Edmonton and reported back to the siblings that someone else was on board. When I was in Edmonton I picked up a grandson. He is nineteen and will be living in Victoria attending the University of Victoria. As he said: “We will be only a ferry ride away.” I have known him more intimately after his mother’s death ten years ago. A photograph of him and friend Colette will accompany this posting. Future Ex Husband looked at it and said: “You and he look alike almost.” In some ways he does I think. 
Triple O and I were chatting when along came CCC. One of CCC’s multiple roles is Replacement Brother. Triple O very cleverly and accurately opined that he would therefore be her Uncle. Holy Cow, what a crew. 
My day began with a long telephone call to friend Bruce – my oracle. 

Me: Why do I drive men crazy? 

Bruce: You don’t, you just find the crazy ones.

Me: That is a huge relief actually. Huge! But why do I seek out the crazy ones. 

He: Perhaps because they are more interesting? 
Perhaps my need for interesting crazy men will be abated by my burgeoning family. One can only hope and pray. Two quotes from Triple S’s book: “Everything that happens, including humiliations, embarrassments, misfortunes, all has been given like clay, like material for one’s art. One must accept it.” And another by C.S.Lewis: “When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place. That is a quote from C.S. Lewis. 
The music playing now is : “The Street Where You Live” A few can imagine how poignant that song is to me at this time of my life. 


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