My precious friend Colette just got to Edmonton from California. She came and picked me up at the Chateau Lacombe. We had the following conversation: Me: I have so many things to tell you about my life. When I tell you you are going to faint.
Colette: Not when I am driving, don’t tell me when I am driving.
Me: I will drive then.
Colette: But you don’t have any insurance and you have not been driving for two and a half years.
Me: I guess you will just have to wait then.
We will go to lunch later and then I will knock her socks off as my life is very strange and unusual.
I told the General Manager of this hotel, the Chateau Lacombe about my experience some fifty years ago drinking Black Russians. Do you know what the sweet man did? He had a Black Russian made and presented it to me. I was extremely impressed and wrote him a thank you note on a napkin. What would I do without napkins?
I ate at LaRonde, the restaurant that goes round and round. Such a lovely experience seeing Edmonton spread out around you. I had a jolly time and met some wonderful people. A wonderful woman from New Hampshire who is on Edmonton taking a course. She met me for breakfast the next morning and very kindly took care of the bill, saying that God paid it. i gave her a hug:
Me: Thank you. God. But you don’t look like what expected you to look like.
She: God moves in mysterious ways.
When I gaze about the Chateau it is amazing how slovenly people are dressed. They often sit about in small groups trying to impress each other. I am an excellent eavesdropper, if I do say so myself. The topic of conversation is usually the purchase of goods and then veers toward the hurling of insults aimed at those not present at their gathering. If instead of gossiping they spent more time on their appearance it would pay off. At the Trump International Hotel the Emperor encourages his staff to dress well for several reasons. It is a ritzy hotel but also, he reasons, if you look good, you feel good and act more confidently. That man thinks of everything, the staff are a joy to behold. Whereas, even in the Trump, the guests can look pretty bad with their ripped jeans, plunging necklines and baseball caps worn backwards. I wrote a three page resume suggesting certain services I could perform at the Trump International Hotel. This was under the heading of All Purview: “Model chic and appropriate dress at all times; always and at every moment repeat such phrases as: Please, Thank you, Excuse Me. Occasionally educate in the following manner: “In Canada women are allowed to exit the elevator first” but this must be said in the most dulcet of tones.” The Emperor has a copy of the resume.
Emperor: Don’t expect to hear back from us.
Me: But I live here!
Yesterday I decided it was high time to work a bit on my personal appearance. I went to the Holt Renfrew store and Cindy made me look absolutely gorgeous. The attached picture is the beautiful me.
Last week I received an email from City University London informing me of the results of the disciplinary hearing held in London. The ridiculous situation is discussed in the May 9, 2017 blog. I did not open it but forwarded it to a friend, who has expertise in the area asking him for a translation. He responded: “ Can’t remember if I fed back to you the emails from your alma father? Quite funny, really, but I should watch out if you hear an east London accent near you as they have put out a contract on you. Although given what you said about their competence they will probably manage to get Alexa rather than you.” The reason I did not open the email myself is I do not want that school’s negative energy touching me as I sit high on the 19th floor of Trump International Hotel, an ideal environment for writing. I will return to my aerie on Monday.