Feeling Utterly Bereft 

It is strange with me and words. They just come to me and then I look then up and they are perfect. Bereft is the word of the day. That is how I feel. Actually for no good reason as I am going to things and people. The country of my birth, family. I travel to Richmond to friends who will take me to Heathrow. I met David and Greg when I first came to London and they have consistently been in my life here. Then I get on the plane and then cousin Gail will greet me and I will be with her. I awoke to the sweetest email from her. It was entitled Part of you is here. “Small box arrived today – not much longer & all of you will be here. Love Gai!” I never actually had a sister, but Gail feels like one. It is great to have one finally. I am the older sister I guess as my birthday is in May but she seems like the older sister. 

 I am incapable of writing more. It feels like I am leaving part of me behind in this country, but I do not know which part. I think of that phrase from Beckett I think: “ I can’t go on, I will go on.” 

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