I sent the following email to the individual that I am ‘allowed’ to speak with at the dreaded school. Here is goes: “Good morning,
I was going to call you but I decided it might freak you out so I will email you instead. I blogged our correspondence about the anthology yesterday. I did not name you, I did not name the school although at some point I suppose it will be revealed. What you do not know is how immensely popular my blog is. An average of 180 hits a day. That is phenomenal. So all of those people see how silly (for want of a better word) the school is. You cannot afford to have anthologies printed for the students? There are seven students. How ridiculous that is! How illogical, how cruel, how heartless to not give the people whose work is contained within a copy. Don’t you see that? I am not saying it is your decision to answer me in the way you do but it is patently ridiculous and at least 180 people can see that. And here is the ultimate irony. I publish my story on my blog. More people will read it than would ever read it in the anthology. It is conceivable that my numerous readers will want to read my book when it is ‘published’ as an iBook. I do not need an agent with iBook and so your precious anthology is wasted…So weirdly funny and although I am angry beyond belief at the cretins at L?? or C?? or whatever I do find it amusing. That is all for now. I do not expect you to answer. Share it if you like, actually I do sort of wish you would. So in case you lost the reference it is alexismcbride.com. Today’s posting contains the end of the story but it is not posted as yet. Alexis “
OK I am done with the rant against the school for just now, perhaps forever. Onto the fun times.
II had an amazing day yesterday. I went to pick up my blue coat at Browns. It was not back from alterations so I went to lunch at Colbert’s. My mother would not be proud of my selections, there was not a vegetable in sight. I had gougeres, frites, escargots and red wine. It was wonderful and I had the best time. I congratulated the chef Stuart on the gougeres as they were the best I have ever had in my entire life. I had a wonderful conversation with Paulo, a waiter and told him two secrets. Then I met Charlotte and another man whose name I have forgotten. Charlotte and the unnamed man had a gap. I used to have a gap but then I got false teeth on the top and no gap. But then when I got new teeth made just before I came to the UK I got a little gap back. I wrote a really great story called Mind the Gap and I will get Chris to put it on the blog. My former lover read the story and said: “It almost made me laugh out loud.” I wrote back: “Almost?!?! Everyone laughs out loud when they read it. Even I do and I wrote it.” Men?!? When I got off the 360 bus on the way to Browns I was lost and uncharacteristically asked for help from a man with a handsome blue jacket. He said: “End of the block and turn right.” I obeyed. I got to Browns and then later at Colbert’s I was casually observing the table across the way. A man and a woman were conversing, it all seemed complicated, who was going to do what, where they would meet etc. etc. I thought how much easier it s not to have a man in your life. The woman left, the man leaned over and said to me: “So you found your way?” It was blue jacket man, his name is Warren. We talked for a while and of course I gave him my business card with my blog address. There was a couple sitting in a booth adjacent to mine. The woman had an impeccable English accent so I started to mimic her because I have lived In London for two and half years and I still have my Vocal Fry. But it did seem mean, therefore I interrupted them and told her what I was doing. They were really hospitable and we chatted and they told me they were lawyers. WOW. I was a lawyer. So we blabbed away, they promised to follow my blog. HI Guys!!! Well, that supposes they are good at their word – but they are lawyers?!? I laugh.
I write from the train, first class of course, from London to Kirkcaldy. Why Kirkcaldy of all places? For all kinds of reasons, mostly relating to my book. I stood up and went to the loo (how I love that word). Three people were playing cards. I asked them what they were playing. They said: “Shanghai”. I told them that I did not know that game, the only game I knew was Strip Poker, Needless to say they laughed. So I gave them my business card with the blog address. On my way back to my seat I said: “If you decide to switch games I am in Seat 31.” By the way, I hope they don’t because I lied. I do not know how to play strip poker. Just in case they do come for me I am putting on all of my scarves. I do not know the details but I know the general drift of strip poker. The more clothes you have to take off the better. On that note, I will conclude.
The photograph that accompanies this blog is the church where my precious great grandfather is buried. It is in West Wemyss. It doesn’t look like it but it rhymes with Dreams. Is that not prophetic? The answer is yes.
