Reading the related stories at the end of a current blog takes me back in time, to old relationships and forgotten times. This conversation from July of 2017 appeared. I apologized to a friend that I had to cut short our email correspondence because I had to blog.
He: But I thought you loved to blog?
Me: I am starting to feel different about the blog. It doesn’t really give back. It seems like a parasite. It was good to write today about Son the Crooner’s Day Care in the Philippines and recognize his efforts and he was very touched by the praise and the exposure. But in an interesting way the blog has served to alienate me from others. It has changed my life but I am not sure I want to be such a public person. I need to find my way with it and use the ‘sphere of influence’ in a way that is meaningful. I have been able to cut back; now I write every second or third day instead of every day. That does relieve some of the self-imposed pressure. It is like everything in life – nothing is pure pleasure or pure pain.
Then Me Again: (sometimes the poor man can never let a word get in edgewise) More thoughts. It is very strange to become successful in something that you never intended. It is not the same feeling of accomplishment that comes from reaching a goal. It was a whim, this blog writing. Who am I writing it for?
He: That’s a question only you know the answer to. Are you writing it for yourself? To get your emotions out? To tell “someone” your thoughts? To share your convictions and beliefs to the open world? To know that someone is listening to you? To attain followers? With everything that you do, you should think of the purpose and benefits of your action, God knows we only have so much time in this life.I think it can feel like pain when you don’t see a purpose or end goal for you action. So perhaps give that some thought.
Me: Excellent questions! Your perspective is so helpful to me (as usual).You have such an incisive mind. Our thinking is strangely complementary – I provide the mess and then you sort it out. But without the mess there would be nothing to sort. I am positive that there is a more articulate way to communicate that thought. hahahaha.
I think in the beginning I wrote to certain ‘someones’ – no longer. (although one writes occasionally saying that I am always on his ‘thought waves’) At one time you said that it seemed that it served the purpose of putting things in perspective for me. Again, very incisive on your part. Another avowed purpose was to ‘get even’ by exposing the ‘sins’ of London City University. and Dolphin Square. Mission accomplished! Remember when I told you of my secret desire to make a man love me through my blog? And my friend Lynne said to me: “Alexis, you overdid it!” hahahaha I know several people read the blog to cheer them up – they are addicted to it for that purpose. (But it backfires, for interesting reasons contained in recent research.)
I have no desire to share my convictions and beliefs but I do have a desire to impart information and encourage people to think and to look more deeply into important issues. I know that my research into mother’s paying more attention to their cell phones instead of their babies for example, made an impact. On the other hand it is fun to share my friends and their funny and incisive comments and views.
I think I might blog this ‘conversation’. I will use your questions saying that a friend helped me look at this issue and use your questions. Would that be ok with you? You are an inspiration to me, The statement that you feel pain when you don’t see a purpose or goal for our actions is so, so profoundly true. This has been so helpful to me. Thank you times a billion.
He: Seems like you do have a purpose for your blog. Do what makes you happy and yes of course you can share that on your blog.
So the crisis has been averted. What a wonderful friend I have.His concern and caring is so apparent. I am so thankful for his presence in my life. It is nothing short of a miracle.
Who was this unnamed friend? Joo Kim Tiah, the man I now teasingly call my first multibillionaire. I am stunned to see his concern and care for me, blown away actually.Faithful readers will know that it was me that called things off in an angry manner. He was in Malaysia, I in Vancouver – he was to return to Vancouver in a few months. I have apologized publicly on the blog but received no direct word from him. Do I regret what I did?. Yes, I guess I do. But the timing was terrible and some things had to change. What is that song? It is My Way and was written by a fellow Canadian, Paul Anka.
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friends, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each chartered course
Each careful step along the byway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way
I’ve loved, laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of loosing
And now, as…
For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say all the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows, I took the blows
But I did it my way.
Son the Crooner, a Vancouver waiter at Mott 32, a now closed restaurant at the Trump International Hotel and Tower promised to sing it at my funeral, that I suddenly remember. There is a great rendition on YouTube, sung by Frank Sinatra. I admit to crying while listening. Another memory: “Wished For” Dad, Francois Meunier, at the end of his life, said that he had no regrets.
Wise Man, the last time I saw him, spoke of two of my Ink Blot scores, both extremely high. One measurement is something called Generactivity. It is an unconscious drive to One measurement leave something behind when they die. The other is a High Resource Score – so both of those in conjunction will mean that I will. We spoke of the Uncle Dave book, and this blog but this blog seems a bit ephemeral . But later I texted:
Me: But suddenly thought of something. I did leave something behind Alix Residences, why did we not think of that?
Well some day it is going to be two magnificent well-planned buildings with a bar called Brazen. It is utterly amazing to see that in my very first blog, written on January 26,2017, I called myself brazen. Look it up, honest to goodness I did. By the way, new information made me realize that Joo Kim was not responsible for the event that took place on August 18, 2019. You know I just could live in Malaysia – I can get a ten year renewable visa based on my retirement income, I looked It up.
I have laughingly spoken of a future huge building in Dubai called the Alexis Residences. But, I do not think so. Joo Kim Tiah once said that I inspired him to do more. I did not inspire the Sultan (aka Fazza, aka the Crown Prince of Dubai).
Two funny cards are pictured to cheer you up.
