I have this ability – when (usually) romantic relationship is terminated something kicks in and I forget everything about the person and our times together – both good and bad. Wise Man summarized a situation recently:
He: When you are done, you are done!
Me: Yes, it is like the individual never existed.
It is involuntary – there is no will, no intent. It just goes. There is certainly an up side to this – no sadness, no mourning, just a sort of hole or void – which can be filled. What is a void? Empty space, blank space, blank, vacuum, lacuna, hole, cavity, chasm, abyss, gulf, pit, hiatus; emptiness, nothingness, blankness, vacancy, vacuity, oblivion, nullity; rare voidness, nihility. So the abyss, the emptiness, the nothingness is quickly filled by other people. A man, actually a therapist, met in Las Vegas said I had the quality of Instant Intimacy, I act toward people as if I had known them my whole life, and the good ones respond in kind. The oblivion abates and I carry on.
But it also is a curse as sometimes a person can make a huge difference in your life, and in the life of another, and it is forgotten. I shall speak of an example. The person involved is one known, and named on the blog. Not always named on the blog – not named until the third week of August, 2017. It shall be no surprise to constant readers, the man’s name is Joo Kim Tiah.
Our largely email correspondence was in its founding days when I was called upon to make a very difficult journey. My ‘wished for’ Dad was dying and I was going to visit him, leaving Vancouver for about a week. This is my remembered correspondence to Joo Kim.
Me: It is a very difficult journey. If you are religious, pplrsdr pray for me. If not, plrsdr wish for me.
He: I am religious, I will pray for you.
So I left. But to my utter amazement Joo Kim not only prayed for me but also sent messages from scripture to read to “Dad” who was also religious, although of a different faith. Dad was going blind – so I read them to him. He would say: “Read it me again, read it to me again.” So I did and, of course, told him of the sender’s identity – which is, of course, very impressive. I acted as the go-between, these two very different men communicating with one another. What is a go-between? An intermediary, , middleman, agent, representative, broker, dealer, factor, liaison, liaison officer, link, linkman, linkwoman, linkperson, messenger, contact, contact man/woman/person, frontman; negotiator, honest broker, interceder, intercessor, mediator; medium.
There was I, a sort of messenger, a links woman, a contact. Now I do admit that money can make a difference – if Joo Kim had been a poor Malaysian Christian, it would not have the same impact. But he isn’t – he is a multibillionaire. The last private words that “dad” said to me.
He: Daughter, you lead such an interesting ilife.
It brought “Dad” such joy in his final hours and days. He would have the blogs read to him and heard of my welcome back to the Trump with the red carpet and all. He would laugh. I would teasingly email that two choices had to be made – either open his email or the multibillionaire’s and I chose his. “Wished for” Dad was such a good man. I got more parenting, more fathering in one afternoon from him than I did from my real father my whole lifetime. Probably less than a month later he died. With heavy heart I returned for the funeral and had an amazing religious experience at the funeral which is too private to relate. I did write to Joo Kim about it at the time.
So Dad is dead, he cannot tell the story. But sometime in 2019 I gave up my anger towards Joo Kim and remembered this. It was a gift – this remembrance. I am sharing the gift.
It is late morning in London. I am in my hotel room icing my knee and shall go off in the cold and rain to have my hair done in dreaded Dolphin Square. Cindy, a hair dresser whose salon is in the Arcade cut my hair during my London residency and I was able to make an appointment. My hair definitely needs some help and she has done a wonderful job in the past. I feel safe in her hands.
There is humours news from Canada, straight to you rom the email of CPI.
She: Re: the CA fires. A Coquitlam company is trucking 75 men (presumably all men) along with equipment to Vallejo to deal with repairing infrastructure in aftermath of fire in that area. Canadians are on the job, but evidently tied up the border for hours.
Justin Trudeau did not go out Halloweening in blackface – in fact kept quite a low profile. Why did we always shout “Halloween Apples” when kids here use “Trick or Treat”? And fireworks here at Halloween instead of 24 May? On to Guy Fawkes Day.
Me: I am glad that Justin finally showed some propriety – so funny definitely going on the blog two days from now. I have no idea about the change in tune for Hallowe’en. It is impossible to understand as – apples are much more organic and you know those anti vaccine mothers are most organic Who knows what is happening in this cruel world. As to the border crossing, you know that Adam cannot visit because of Homeland Security. I guess I need to be thankful that I am a citizen.
I went to bed early tonight and was awoken by explosions, frightening when one is an American with no gun control. But it was fireworks. Confused, a call was made to the front desk.
Me: What is going on? There are fireworks all over the place.
He: It is Halloween.
Me: What is this? I think Americans invented Halloween and we never had fireworks.
So I woke up and finished this blog.
The photographs are of my new hairdo – only front shots but believe me, the back looks fantastic as well.
