Lordy, is my life weird or what???? But another way to say it is that my life is full of paradox. What is paradox, what is paradoxical. Here are the synonyms: self-contradictory, inconsistent, incongruous, anomalous, conflicting; improbable, impossible, odd, illogical, confusing, absurd, puzzling, baffling, bewildering, incomprehensible, inexplicable; rare oxymoronic.
My favourite of all those words are odd and oxymoronic. I am in bed (alone). Noise cancelling earphones are strapped to my ears playing the most inspiring music. It is a new album from Apple Music called Classical Motivation. Boy, is it ever, both classical and motivational. It is number of different sections. I just listened to one and said:
Me: I would play that at my wedding, It is beautiful.
Alter Ego: Who said you are getting married again?
Me: With my oxymoronic life, you never know.
Alter Ego: You have a good point there.
Me: Thanks. I love to win!
Alter Ego: That is why I respect you.
Me: I am touched! Respect is far more important than love. I would rather a man respect me than love me.
Alter Ego: You have a good point there.
Me: But who said you can not have both? A man both wuv you AND respect you. I won again.
Alter Ego: But then you would have to love and respect him as well.
Me: You have a good point. But I think I could. And it is something to strive for.
Alter Ego: You have a good point.
Me: Thank you.
I suddenly and impulsively looked at Instagram. There was a message and photo from mauro_frank:
He: Two is better than one.
Me: Sometimes that is true.
Followed by another by brandon_grant.
He: Love yourself the way you want to be loved by others.
Me: That is profound and for me timely. It is going on the blog.
He: Happy to hear it resonated.
So you see what I mean? It seems like serendipity. The meaning of that word: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
Some of you may not know how, or why, I began this word definition practice that characterizes this blog. At some point I began doing it on the blog but this is the underlying cause. Joo Kim Tiah and I were once avid emailers. The sweetest thing he ever said to me:
He: I learn a new word every time I read an email from you.
Me: That is the sweetest thing you ever said to me.
Well the poor guy must now have a limited vocabulary because we have not been emailing for one year and and ten months. Hopefully he reads my blogs. Hahahaha
I awoke to an email from CPI. It began:
CPI: Says she after sending mail at 4:41a.m.
Me: Damn you are funny! It took me a while to get that, while and reading my email to you.
I, emailing at 4:41 am., had accused CPI of poor sleep habits, she is an insomniac and stays awake most of the night, slipping off to sleep in the morning. She was particularly valuable in August to October of 2017 as I had early morning wakening and would be corresponding with Joo Kim when he was in Malaysia. So I had two people to talk to in those early morning hours. It was rather improbable, odd and inexplicable. She a high school and Uni friend from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Joo Kim was not even born when she and I were originally friends and when born, he was in Malaysia, the other side of the world (I think). I am a bit unclear about the whereabouts of Malaysia, never being there and all.
But CPI was putting my hand to the fire, which basically means: to hold one accountable for a commitment, to make good on a promise. She rather gently reminds me that I need to be true to myself and to remember things accurately and in their entirety. I was complaining to her about some treatment I received at the Trump International Hotel and Tower when I lived there from May to August of 2017.
CPI: You did experience some warmth at the Trump, didn’t you – a warm relationship with the Emperor for the most part, they helped after a panic attack…?
Me: Of course they did! The vast majority of the staff treated me with such love and respect. Thank you for reminding me. When I had those panic attacks they would come to my room with blankets and talk to me. I would wake up freezing and call and someone would come – always. They would calm me down and then with the extra blankets I could go to sleep.
Thank goodness I do not have panic attack anymore – there is no one to call and there are no extra blankets. Hahaha
Everyone needs a friend to remind them gently that they are being a bit to hard on somebody or something. I guess I need to forgive. I have a difficult time forgiving – others have brought it to me attention. Joo Kim for one and First Man for another. I did listen to First Man when we had lunch in Vancouver quite recently. Perhaps I can listen to Joo Kim. Well, I did listen to CPI – let the record reflect.
So this is my baffling and bewildering life at the moment. I am still in bed, but madly fielding emails from friends which are really funny. Jennifer just now is describing her day, she who lives in a situation that is the antithesis of mine. She overlooks open space that is now being taken over by new construction. Here there is no such thing as open space and hordes of traffic. She includes a picture of the sunset which she remarks:
She: Sometimes it gets more beautiful as it gets later–kind of like us! Haha!
Me: You are so damn right! More beautiful as later. I am definitely going to blog that one.
So today I have not gotten a lot accomplished in many ways as I am still in bed (alone). But I have sent fifteen emails and received about the same number. Here is a funny line from new friend whose nickname I cannot recall at this moment.
She: That’s another great book title ‘He WUVS me’ ahahahahahaha oh my
Me: OMG thanks! I am becoming such a vixen – the poor man.
What is a vixen ? Apparently a harridan, shrew, dragon, termagant, cat, witch, hellcat, she-devil, tartar, martinet, spitfire, hag, gorgon, fury, ogress, harpy, nag; informal bitch; Scottish & Northern Irish informal targe; archaic scold; rare Xanthippe.
I guess I will pick targe as I am Scottish – actually one hundred per cent. I do not want to be a spitfire, a hag, a harpy or a termagant. So targe it is!
The photograph is one posted on Instagram yesterday It is a laugh, a mug I purchased that says I Ruff You. Not I Wuv you but I Ruff you. And Jennifer’s sunset if I can figure out how to download it.
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