So I woke up to emails from darling people in my life – I am so blessed. Not blessed with some guy next to me in bed but with companionship from afar. It occasioned this fantastic line communicated to at least two others: “The sacrifices I made in the heterosexual world and I end up being a fag hag!.” Now that is funny and actually not offensive when you think about it because I am not putting down gay men at all, not one little bit. I enjoy the company of gay men. It is those straight guys that I have problems with – and everyone does, let us admit it. It is because of the rearing practices of their mothers – the mothers want their sons all to themselves, therefore they program their sons to be terrible to other women. Think about this, it is profound. Motherhood is not what it is cracked up to be. So there! So there! So there! Oh, did I offend? Too bad, so sad! If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the oven.
This just in – a wisdom from F. guy. You have not heard from him in awhile.” As I see it, the idea of abuse, especially sexual abuse, is really a new awakening in the last few decades. There has always been abuse of all kinds, including sexual and physical abuse. Slavery was all about abuse, presumably, physical, sexual, emotional, and any other adjective one might wish to envision. The question I have is to what extent abuse and its lasting effects when it is culturally endorsed or accepted is different from the effects of abuse that is not culturally endorsed. Are the effects, trauma and lasting problems different for culturally accepted or culturally acquiesced abuse versus abuse that is now culturally condemned.”
Think about that, I am. If abuse is Ok, according to cultural norms, it is perfectly acceptable to be abused. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The victim is not a victim. It just happened, the luck of the draw, so to speak. That is actually restorative and i feel rather restored. And actually sexual abuse in this country (and the USA) is culturally endorsed – tacitly. What causes me to say that? Statistics – it is rampant. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it! I do love telling the truth and having the opportunity to put it on the streets. Well, on the computer which is better. It is impossible to shut me up – well you can stop reading me – but see if I care. In the words of a handsome man: “Frankly Scarlett I do not give a damn!” Clark Gable being the handsome man. Now was he gay? I forget. Rock Hudson was, Tab Hunter was, ends up Kevin Spacey is. But frankly: I do not give a damn. It is the pretense that gets in the way. If one is gay then one should admit it. It is hurtful – that pretense. And I have been hurt with no details to follow.
But do let me cheer you up. This from a friend.
He: We were in LA for a few days taking in the culture of the museums and sitting in the traffic as it inched along. I think the reason people may be mellow in California sometimes is that they have nothing else to do while they sit in their cars so it fosters meditation as the norm. Of course they could be on their cell phones, but that is no longer legal, so they are only sometimes on their cell phones and otherwise meditating!
Me: That is profound and so funny. But I HATE it when you are funnier than I am.
And here is another funny line.
He: And my 50th year reunion from Med school is coming up in September…. My how times flies. Now if only I could remember which medical school it was….I’m sure it will come to me eventually.
Me: You are SO funny and it dovetails with an extremely funny email I got this morning from a friend in London.
Here is the joke from the guy in London.
He: A tip from an old man When you see a woman and want her badly please consider the following: No matter how beautiful she is. No matter how sexy she is. No matter how seductive she is. No matter how huge her breasts are. I’ve complete forgotten where i was going with this. That shit happens when you get older. Sorry for wasting your time.
Me: I love this joke. What would I do without you, old guy?
And this from the UK in an email.
He: Seen a play called consent ( form the national) , last night. I think you would have enjoyed, barrister talk, clever, cynical and fun. A scene ; mother having a revenge affair with friend of serial adulterer husband is seen in the kitchen by their 3 year old son, giving husband the line,Why is mommy drinking form daves willy?
Me: I am dying laughing. Dying That is so damn funny.
So I hope you are all are cheered. Some serious material about sexual abuse but jokes. I do think this is true, I do bring out the funny in people. That is the secret of my success. I mean even Joo Kim Tiah got funny once in a while. I am sure he misses me for that reason alone. And the guys at the Equinox are all over me. (well, not literally, not even figuratively come to think of it). Hahahahaha
The photo attached to the blog is art in my apartment. A striking photograph of a grain elevator was borrowed from the Vancouver Art Gallery, a part of their rental stock. The picture on the right was actually here in my wonderful apartment so fully and completely furnished. It is heaven. But a negative to end the blog. The volunteer coordinator at VAG is spectacularly inept. Everyone says so but no one does anything about it. The gallery could (and should) use my numbers on Instagram and the blog to promote the rentals. But she is threatened by me. It is VAG that suffers, not me. I am nominally on the “books” as a volunteer but I am not being used properly. But it is not my problem and I am supposed to be writing the book.
