I was thinking of the space taken in my mind – space taken away from my thoughts of Allah – by insignificant people of the past and present. I remembered Lady McBeth’s famous soliloquy: “Out damned spot!” How perfect a phrase to describe those intrusive thoughts. Then looked at my Islamic books, my eye fastened upon Nouri My Light, a book of poetry and enlightenment. Immediately upon opening found a poem: Broken.
Only the broken speak the language,
The language of frozen smiles:
Glazed eyes,
An surface kisses.
Beneath
Lurks the fear
Sadness,
Misery.
Help
Look for the signs-
Hold them close. Protect them.
We want to not be here,
The chain binds us-
But
True love and a pull,
That’s all it takes.
The facing page quotes the Quran, a Hadith and Pearls of Wisdom
Quran 4:6
“And (remember) when Moses said to his people:”Call to mind Allah’s favor to you, when He delivered you from the harsh people who were slaughtering you son and keeping your female s alive, and in it was tremendous trial from your Lord.”
Hadith
Hadith Quads A Divine Discourse with Moses and David in Hilt Al-Waliya’ #277
“Allah says I am with those whose hearts are broken for Me.”
Pearl Of Wisdom
Sharing our difficulties with others can bring certain relief , especially if they are impartial. We receive empathy, genuine support and practical help.
At out lowest point, we’re more likely to tall somebody who is more involved in our lives. Triggering unwanted, automatic reactions of advice, ‘help’, blame/Shane misguided guidance and decisions taken away from us due to disproportionate reactions.
Sometimes we just need unconditional love and acceptance, we only need to look to Him
Some of our more difficult life episodes are gifts for us to learn from, although we’re quite unlikely to see it at the time! Allah’s plan is bigger than our temporary pain.”
Surely, turning to Allah is the answer, but how exactly to do that? My makeshift attempts are to place Allah in my mind by recalling that the particular individual/individuals/ or situation are no longer in my life because of Allah. Allah rescued me, Allah saved me from their presence or that environment. Then prayerfully asking for guidance so not to place myself in that person’s presence or in that environment again. I do admit that it is not working perfectly. Sometimes not at all. Hahaha
Sometimes I just need not to take myself so seriously, be grateful for what I have and laugh at myself. That mode of thinking becomes even more helpful when I recognize that my sense of humor is given to me by Allah.
I also find writing relieves the sadness and the pressure. My writing, it is to be remembered, a gift from Allah.
Invocations are helpful in leading the way. One begins: “Oh Allah!. Rectify for me my religion, for it is the most important of my affairs….”
What exactly is rectify? – it is a word that I am not familiar with. Rectify: put right; correct. Some ‘useful’ synonyms are: heal, make good, better, ameliorate, patch up.
The invocation goes on to say: and rectify for me my worldly affairs, for my sustenance lies in them and rectify for me my hereafter.
When one substitutes some of the synonyms the invocation comes clearer. Heal, better, make good my religion, my worldly affair and my hereafter. An informal synonym, patch up does not somehow seem appropriate. Hahaha
September 22, 2026
Today purchased a new book, yet another book to add to my vast collection. The Aphorisms of Ibn “Ata’ Allah. Thumbing through the pages I accidentally found this – which is exactly on point. “When He isolates and alienates you from people, know that he has opened an opportunity for intimacy with Him.”
This aphorism threads “out damn spot” the poem Broken and the words found in Pearl of Wisdom into one. I am not altogether sure what an aphorism is (to be totally honest) but I will read the lengthly introduction and get back to you. Hahaha .
What happened was miraculous, it did seem heaven sent. I had an an unforgettable experience at Dakwah Corner Bookstore. There was a shelf of new arrivals. On the shelf spied Aziz and the Golden Age of Islam. I had previously purchased the book but the book store ran out of stock and so the book was irreplaceable. Why did it need to be replaced??? The book was stolen from me. I lent it to a Muslim man of my acquaintance during Ramadan 2026 as it was particularly inspiring. The Golden Age of Islam is an almost forgotten era. It MUST be remembered, recalled and understood. I asked for the book back because I was moving back to Penang, leaving of June I was leaving Societe, the building where the Muslim man worked.. He said it had been given to me by a subordinate. It had not been. I insisted that the subordinate be confronted – he did nothing. It was such an affront, an act of betrayal I put the I blocked him from WhatsApp and all communication. I tried to keep him out of mind because remembering was so painful. But it was somewhat of a festering wound.
I saw the book, rejoicing! Allah had returned to the book to me. I purchased the replacement book for a mere 110 RM minus a discount) and proudly left the superb bookstore with it and four other books. You shall hear of those treasures later.
It seemed Allah was responsible. The book had just been restored to the book shelves. My trip to KL, was almost accidental, not preplanned at all. A gap in the schedule brought me to the bookstore as I had time to spare and Sandman was there to drive me. It all came together.
This man who betrayed me was not a good man, after all. it was revealed. Allah is All-Knowing, knew that he was not worthy of my time and attention. I am too empathetic and was suffering at his plight – not able to do anything to help. So it was a strained and painful relationship. The betrayal caused the severance – the return of the book brought me closer to Allah. The aphorism was proven true. “When He isolates and alienates you from people, know that he has opened an opportunity for intimacy with Him.”
Realize that some (including perhaps some of you) would say:
You: Well it was all your fault. You should have never loaned a precious book to anyone – kept it locked away in the safe in your room.
Me: Well the safe was too small. I never want to lose my kind heart. The Alaa, inspired by knowledge, and willing (and able) to share it with others. Allah disfavors misers and arrogance. Libraries are in the business of loading books, but I am sure none had Azia and the Golden Age of Islam.
Speaking of libraries, I have not spoken of the books I checked out for two weeks from the Penang Library. I did mention Sensitive Truths in Malaysia. It is an engrossing read. It was written in 2013 and there have been some significant changes since that time but the history, the culture as a whole and details of the formation of the Constitution are fascinating.
I playfully picked up a paperback entitled Quit Like Millionaire No Gimmicks, No Luck. Or Trust Fund Required. It promises Stop Working, Start Living. Hmmmm. Maybe too late for that but I have quit working, and seems like I have started living and with the Malaysian exchange rate I could perhaps be a millionaire.
A serious book Muslim Women at the Crossroads The Rights of Women in Islam and General Muslim Practices. The forward of the book read, Dr. Zeenath Kausar portrays the dilemma forcefully. I will speak of it and a later book in a subsequent blog.
Found the title of the third book intriguing title. Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith and Family written by Garrard Conley..
Photographs of the books will follow – the three library books and my replacement Aziz and the Golden Age of Islam.
