For some reason that word, candor, jumps into my head. Its definition: characterized by or exhibiting a determination or willingness to take action and achieve results: Used in a sentence: I like his can-do attitude. Its synonyms are: frankness, openness, honesty, candidness, truthfulness, sincerity, forthrightness, directness, plain-spokenness, bluntness, straightforwardness, outspokenness; informal telling it like it is.
The word came to me as I was reading my previous blogs under the Related Stories section. There is such a uniformity, even though the circumstances of my existence changed drastically. First in London, then Vancouver and now San Francisco. A kaleidoscope of men, a declining repertoire of women friends. But something remains the same – I always tell it like it is. There is a truthfulness, a sincerity and a plainspokenness. Negative events and people are not spoken of, so there is this impression that my Vancouver Days were quite jolly – trust me, they were not and in the end I absolutely hungered to be away from that City and shall not even visit – not even to see First Man, nor CPI but CPI and I are in constant communication. But, otherwise, spoke of amusing and close conversations with people that are no longer in my life, and I do admit, I do not mourn their passing.
But audacious the other word of the day. Definition: showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. Its synonyms being: impertinent, insolent, presumptuous, cheeky, irreverent, discourteous, disrespectful, insubordinate, ill-mannered, unmannerly, rude, brazen, shameless, pert, defiant, cocky, bold (as brass); informal fresh, lippy, mouthy, saucy, sassy, nervy, ballsy; archaic contumelious. ANTONYMS polite. But also: bold, daring, fearless, intrepid, brave, courageous, valiant, heroic, plucky; daredevil, devil-may-care, reckless, madcap; venturesome, mettlesome; informal gutsy, gutty, spunky, ballsy, skookum; literary temerarious. ANTONYMS timid.
It was definitely sassy, mouthy, ballsy and nervy for me to suggest that the Opera House in
Dubai should be named The Alexis Opera House, but it was done with all sincerity and directness and bluntness. And who knows? If you do not ask for something, you will not get it. That is gutsy and venturesome. It would bring great publicity when the city is reopened. and if promised safe passage I might even attend – wearing my purple dress and head scarf which has been praised. I promise to behave myself, and be gracious, I am capable of such. I will wear by silver Jimmy Choo shoes. I have nothing to loose by making this lippy offer, the joys of having a blog. One does get to encourage completion amongst men- how blunt that statement!
For reasons, born of self isolation, I am thinking of a former friend – a friend os some thirty years. She could never admit that she made a mistake.. Whereas, I can. A Vancouver postcard propped on an easel, said: I learn from my mistakes, so I am going to keep making them (or words to that effect). So she never learned, and she did make mistakes, rather consistently, but would make them time and time again. Whereas, an extremely intelligent man told me that the quality he most loved about me was my ability to have strong opinions but then take in new information and change my mind, in a gracious manner.
Me: OK I hear you! I was wrong about that!
He: That is the main reason I care about you.
Me: Really, not my brain as you mentioned before and not my sexual prowess.
He: Yes!
Me: When you first mentioned that it was not the sex but my brain you most admired, I said that I must be brilliant because of my abilities in the other venue.
I was single at the time and so it was not a sin. I was neither a mother nor a grandmother to provide an example to others. I can clean up my act when needed. By the way, my phone just rang – it was the man from Tennessee. We laughed together. So I get poems from one man and telephone calls and texts from another. Two men who could not be more different from one another, in age and profession and interests. They are both fine men.
Today was an accomplished day – sent a wire transfer to my computer guru and made arrangements to extend the lease on my apartment for six months. I feeling of contentment emerges. And I did get a call from a gentleman caller from the South. Here is a secret, I napped for about three hours in the middle of the afternoon. Self isolation definitely has some benefits.
Now it is off to watch my new man Cosimo Medici – most handsome, most forceful, most determined, and a good father. But unfortunately I came to the end of Season 3 of the Medicis – so no more Cosimo. Well unless I watch it over again. It was his eyes that were so appealing, they were the most beautiful blue. I have been gazed upon with soft, adoring eyes by four men in my lifetime but they all had brown eyes. The first was a grandson – I wold walk into a room of ‘then’ family and he would say – Granny Alexis with those eyes. The second was a man in London – I was at the British Museum for an Apple photography class and took his picture with a remote control device that allowed us to look in each others eyes. It was startling to see his eyes, had not noticed that before although we had known one another for months.. Next was in Vancouver at the Trump – man would say Alexis and look at me with those eyes. The last was, surprisingly, the Sultan at a hotel in London where we briefly met. None of the four men are in my life any longer, perhaps my next ambition will be to receive a look of adoration from a blue-eyed man. Perhaps not.
It is now morning – facing another lazy day of self isolation. Perhaps I shall venture out to the mailboxes and take out the garbage, but no sense in overdoing anything.
The photograph is one I took in 2008 of Mt. St. Michel. All this and I can photograph too. Hahaha .
