I admit to an absolutely improbable existence. What is improbable? The most accurate synonyms are unlikely, not likely, dubious, debatable, questionable, uncertain; difficult to believe, implausible, far-fetched, fanciful; unthinkable, inconceivable, unimaginable, unimagined, incredible It is most difficult to believe the parameters of my existence. Moreover, its dubious nature changes with almost every passing day.
The most far-fetched fact at this particular moment is: I am utterly besotted with the Sultan – he introduced himself to me as the Sultan and so he will always be the Sultan to me. I suppose there is some comfort to be drawn from the knowledge that I am not alone. Thousands of people feel the same way, but that gives me little comfort. I am probably the oldest person besotted by the Sultan, however, it is to be remembered that at least I met him and he fist punched me. Now that is not exactly requited love. Do let is look into the concept of unrequited love.
“What Is Unrequited Love? There are times when we have strong romantic feelings toward someone, only to find out that they do not feel the same way about us. That is called unrequited love—love that is not returned or rewarded. It is a one-sided experience that can leave us feeling pain, grief, and shame.”
Of course, the next question that must be asked is this:
“Can unrequited love ever become requited? It is possible for unreciprocated love to become mutual. But you’re better off if you don’t expect it to. If someone feels absolutely nothing for you and couldn’t care less whether you happen to be in the same room together or separated by an ocean, that’s not likely to change.”
Requiring a little more illumination on the subject, I checked into Wikipedia.
Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer’s deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as “not reciprocated or returned in kind”.
Psychiatrist Eric Berne states in his book Sex in Human Loving that “Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner.”[Others, however, like the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, considered that “indispensable…to the lover is his unrequited love, which he would at no price relinquish for a state of indifference. [It can also be contrasted with redamancy or the act of reciprocal love.”
Eager for self help then became the search for remedies. Now this is fascinating because according to Wikipedia: Roman poet Ovid in his Remedia Amoris “provides advice on how to overcome inappropriate or unrequited love. The solutions offered include travel, teetotalism, bucolic pursuits, and ironically, avoidance of love poets. That is divine irony as Fezza writes romantic love poems that have been previously quoted on this blog.
I do think that the very best remedy for unrequited love is just to laugh at oneself and one’s peculiarities. It does take the string out of it. I do not suffer from pain, grief or shame. I suffer from giggles. Who would not find that man gorgeous – it is not harming him nor me. I am constantly approached by men on Instagram and in real life. Sultan is a safety net, he keeps me from temptation and, most probably, jerks. He gives to charity, he is in great shape, he is well loved by all of his citizens and by a Canadian who is also a USA citizen.
Wise Man was consulted on this matter, giving this advice.
He: Alexis, go slow.
Me: Now you are making me laugh. I have no choice as he has not directly contacted me since that second day at the hotel. So I would say it is going slow, REAL slow.
I write friends that I am not adjusting very well to my return to these United States. Too much care and coddling in the Hampshires and London Town. Now the weather is certainly better and people glad to see me but it is not the same. But it is important to deal with things. Verizon is no longer my carrier and that fills me with vast relief because my experiences with them were ghastly. More bills to be paid. Unpacking completed which is most tiresome.
At the present moment I am watching The Crown on Netflix and am riveted and it is a superb way to hear English accents sounding in my ears. It is so very well done and it does help when one has lived through the times and can relate to historical events.
I do promise faithful readers that I shall get off this Sultan obsession soon – well given no contact that is. I shall leap back into American politics and have already written a piece on the Supreme Court and the general state of affairs at the present moment. Although I am not particularly patriotic at this time. Friend Jennifer with inquired:
She: What are your plans for Thanksgiving?
Me: No plans for Thanksgiving – I am feeling intensely unAmerican.
By the way solicitude involves concern, care, attentiveness, mindfulness, consideration, considerateness, thoughtfulness, solicitousness, carefulness.
There was a time in my life when Thanksgiving was huge. Cookbooks were devoted to turkeys and sides and desserts. But that feeling is with me no longer and it is not missed.
They: Are you spending Thanksgiving alone?
Me: Hopefully, the company will be a lot more enjoyable that it has been in years past.
This cartoon I found in my New Yorker magazine. I am sure that you will love it.
The other attachment is a photograph taken in the Presidio of San Francisco. It has been placed on Instagram with the following caption.
Me: Here at Presidio for last appointment at Presidio Sports Medicine. I graduated, they said I was AWESOME! Knee functional and so quickly!
I got the best response almost immediately.
She: I cannot wait to see u at the pool
Me: I will be there tomorrow for water aerobics and then at the jacuzzi.
So, as you can see, I am adjusting to life back home. But on my terms.
