“Home” Again; Not Being a Canadian; Sciatica Strikes on Airplane But Then a Wheelcair; Jokes from David Passed On to You; Oysters at Absinthe.

I write from Vancouver, I am “home” again but it does not feel like home. .I wrote to CPI and to Tracey this morning that being in the Bay Area is easy and natural and everything flows better. I am not a Canadian, no matter how hard I try to fit in. I am an oddity, a curiosity.In the USA I am recognized as being a bit weird but I feel totally accepted. Looking back I was more comfortable in London then I am in this corrupt city. London is not exactly free from sin with its entitled peerage and Russian oligarchs Oligarch shall be the word for the day: (especially in Russia) a very rich business leader with a great deal of political influence.I am not sure what I am going to do about my living situation, it will be decided in 2019. If I did go back to live in the USA I would wear a bullet proof fence and carry a shield to protect me from gun violence. I am pretty smart, as you can see, and very adaptable.

The trip back was rather eventful. My wonderful doctor called me at the airport because he was concerned about the pain that I had reported. That would NEVER happen here in this country, NEVER. Of course, he has been my internist for almost forty years, that would not happen here either. Then i met an interesting man standing in line at Yankee Pier, we sat together and had a rather amazing conversation. It seemed almost like destiny to me but he said it was random. But we did have a very lively conversation about this serious matter. Will I hear from his again? Probably not, he was on his way to India on business. Then the plane was boarded but we did not take off on time, but the United pilot very nicely told us what was going on. If it were Air Canada, you would just be sitting there with no word of explanation. But the prolonged sitting caused my sciatica to flare up and I was in horrible pain. The flight attendants were just wonderful, brining me water so I could take medication, letting me stand, arranging an aisle seat so that I could stretch the leg and then I got a ride in a wheelchair. Cynthia was so kind to me, depositing me in a taxi, my favorite Yellow Cab. I could not be happier with United (at this point).

I awoke to jokes from David – my London friend. The email was entitled Church Ladies With Typewriters and contains several bloopers, which is defined as an embarrassing error. Here they are:

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:

‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.’

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Finally. Would all church hikers meet at 2.30pm at the lynch gate..

That is all for now. I have got to get on with my day. The picture is the oysters I enjoyed at Absinthe, a truly great restaurant in San Francisco two blocks from my wonderful hotel. More about that later.