A Totally Amusing Andy Borowitz Satire That is Directly On Point; Cruz Objects to the Stench of Socialism; Stench Defined: Scammers Exposed in Hotel Lobby of the JW Marriott; One of the Richest Counties in the USA Has Wooden Power Poles and No Underground Infrastructure; Such a Coincidence with Andy’s Humor; Photograph of Power Pole and Welcoming Message at the JW Marriott

My passion for Andy Bororwitz’ satire is well known by all and he continues to amaze. This time he scores again, and with a topic that I entitled to feature. The title: Ted Cruz Attacks Bob the Builder for Infrastructure Propaganda. “ In his latest attack on a fictional character beloved by children, Senator Ted Cruz has lambasted Bob the Builder for spreading what the legislator called “blatant pro-infrastructure propaganda.”Cruz said that Bob, who originates from the United Kingdom, should “stop throwing his precious wrench into the American economy by supporting runaway government spending.”

Andy continues with Cruz’s rant against Bob the Builder. “Whenever you see Bob the Builder, he’s maniacally building something,” Cruz said. “Our children are being exposed to his sick and twisted message that functional infrastructure is good.”Because of Bob the Builder’s “extreme pro-infrastructure views,” the senator said that he has banned Bob’s program from the Cruz household.“Sorry, Bob the Builder, but I like my TV shows without the stench of socialism,” Cruz said.”

The twisted message that functional infrastructure is good” and the ‘stench of socialism” are two phrases that definitely stand out. Stench is such a strong word, one with strong synonyms: stink, bad smell, foul smell, reek, miasma, effluvium; niff, pong, whiff. My very favorite has to be effluvium. One could say to another, without seeming to offend:
You: Your effiuvism is rather bothersome. The stinky guy would not understand your meaning, you could say it with a smile (or a face mask) – the anger and frustration felt against the individual would be dissipated and peace would be restored. Life at the JW Marriott is perfect, the only mar, the only problem is sone of the guests. There are a number of wheeler-dealers here, attempting to take advantage of unsuspecting souls. My friendliness and femininity makes me possible target. One man, from Saudi Arabia, said he was a financier specializing in oil and gas. I chose not to meet with him as any individual with knowledge knows that the oil reserves in Saudi Arabia are drying up and mismanaged – no money whatsoever to be made from that. Another man, rather believable at first, tall with a straw hat, said that there was a new cure for cancer which I could fund and become rich. It enraged me, I threw my book to the lobby floor while yelling at him.
Me: You are nothing but a scammer!
He scurried off trying to enlist the help of the concierge desk, which was unavailing.
They: That was powerful Alexis.
Me: Thanks. He might become a bit hesitant to try his scam on others, given my response. Probably scared and humiliated him and he will go to another hotel to attempt to scam others there. I am, in my own way, purifying this hotel lobby.
They: Alexis, you are funny, but you are right.

I can do so because I have the help and enduring support of the staff here. Otherwise I would be powerless – as I was at Tam Ridge Apartments in Corte Madera, California.

But back to the timeliness of Andy’s article. It was my last day in Marin County, the wi-fi essential to tie matters up, do check-in on the airplane etc. etc. What should happen at Marin Suites hotel? The wi-fi ceased functioning. During morning prayers I suddenly noticed that there was a wooden power line – old fashioned, a hazard for fires and a definite hazard if an earthquake. Marin is one of the richest counties in the USA – I was shocked to realize that they do to have underground infrastructure, underground cables which ensure safety. Then remembered that during my tenure as an attorney, the Internet was new, in its infancy but there was no legislation that required a functional system. Pacific Gas and Electric, a public utility was allowed to make a fortune – I was not in the USA at the time but recall that they declared bankruptcy rather than pay damages occasioned by their severe negligence. It was one of those final moments when I knew that leaving the USA was so important. Dubai is not perfect but there is absolutely stellar infrastructure. No wooden power poles here, no failing wi-fi systems. The United States of America is falling apart with the Ted Cruz’s speaking of the “twisted message that functional infrastructure is good.” A photograph of the wooden power pole shall accompany this blog, in case this travesty is not believed by my readers.

But I am here now and have left all of that behind. I walked into the massive hotel lobby to see a huge flag with a message in Arabic.
Me: My goodness. It must be saying: Welcome back Alexis. We have missed you here at the JW Marriott.
Staff: I do not think so Alexis. We are SO happy to see you but I do not think that is what the sign says.
Me: Are you sure? Can you read Arabic?
Staff: Well no.
Me: Then I shall just pretend. Who does it hurt?

I can not believe how welcoming the staff are – smiling in delight, giving me hugs, saying Welcome Back. I am wondering if perhaps I might stay a bit longer rather than indulging in luxury at the Riox. I am sure that Allah will guide me.

Air Emeritus can be very fine but not altogether. It is absolutely impossible to reach the Lost and Found by telephone as there is no answer, even the telephone line is shut down. A trip to the airport shall be necessary – most bothersome. I shall have a hissy fit. I do hope my red glasses are there and the trip will not be for nothing. I am usually a nice person but I would not like to be the staff at the Air Emeritus Lost and Found. Grandson is coming to for an excursion to Abu Dhabi – we shall have to detour to the Dubai Airport. Infuriating!!!!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *