An Incongruous Song Running Through My Mind; “If You Go Away” Version Sung by Neil Diamond Preferred; Reasons for Incongruity Explained; Funny Muslim Male Circumcision Story; Royal Princess Revealed to Be a Scammer; Photograph of a Concession to Christmas; Incongruous, Hoax; and Novice Defined

First of all, what is incongruity. It is not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings or other aspects of something. An example in a sentence is as follows The duffel coat looked incongruous with the black dress she wore underneath. For two or three days the initial words of the song kept running through my head. So what did I do? I googled it, of course, choosing the Frank Sinatra and Neil Diamond versions (preferring the Neil Diamond version after careful listening.) So here are the lyrics for this song by Patricia Kaas

If you go away on this summer day
Then you might as well take the sun away
All the birds that flew in a summer sky
When our love was new and our hearts were high
When the day was young and the night was lo-ong
And the moon stood still for the night birds song
If you go away, If you go away, If you go away
But if you stay I’ll make you a day
Like no day has been or will be again
We’ll sail on the sun, we’ll ride on the rain
We’ll talk to the trees and worship the wind
Then if you go-o I’ll understand
Leave me just enough love to fill up my hand
If you go away, If you go away, If you go away

If you go away as I know you must
There’ll be nothin’ left in the world to trust
Just an empty room full of empty space
Like the empty look I see on your face
Can I tell you now as you turn to go
I’ll be dying slowly till your next hello
If you go away, If you go away, If you go away
But if you stay, I’ll make you a night
Like no night has been or will be again
I’ll sail on your smile, I’ll ride on your touch
I’ll talk to your eyes that I-I love so much
But if you go, I won’t cry
For the good’s gone from goodbye
If you go away, If you go away, If you go away

So why is this an incongruous song, incongruous for me at this time of my life? Well, there is no walking, talking ‘romantic’ man in my life at this moment – due to the pandemic and many other factors. The other factor that is not in harmony or keeping with the surroundings of other aspects of something is that the Muslim faith promises continuity of relationships, if one follows the dictates of the faith. It is most complicated to explain especially if one is a novice (which I am).
Novice has many apt synonyms, beginner, learner, neophyte, newcomer, initiate, tyro, fledgling; apprentice, trainee, probationer, student, pupil, tenderfoot; informal rookie, newbie, greenhorn. ANTONYMS expert, veteran. I can best be described as a rookie, newbie, tenderfoot Muslim. There is a great deal to learn but manage to learn something so every day.

Here is something, that ends in an hilariously funny fashion. Male Muslim children undergo circumcision (as do Jewish male children.) Islamic faith dictates that the cutting should occur from birth up until the age of five, but in most situations it takes place at or near birth, when the child is an infant. Well, for some reason, the ritual was delayed until a young man was three, When he saw what was going to happen to him he cried out:
He: Do not come near me! If you cut my dick I will kill you.
Elder Brother, Uncles and other Maile Relatives: We are holding you down and it is going to take place. It is in the faith.
This was laughingly told to me. Apparently when this man returns to his village in a foreign land everyone laughs – although he is nearly sixty, the antics of a three year old are legend.

Afterwards there is a feast somewhat similar, I to a Jewish Brit. In the Muslim tradition two lambs or goats are “cut” and consumed in celebration. But there is the good news for Muslim woman – they get a feast as well, with only one lamb or goat but they do not have to be cut. The Plans are in place to celebrate my entrance into the faith, there is a farm near Sacramento where the animal is chosen. But it is necessary to wait until this pandemic is over – oh well patience is a virtue but not one virtue within my possession.

People tingling with anticipation will not be surprised to learn that the promise a Middle East Princess arriving on her private jet will not come to pass. It was a total scam – the dialogue between myself and this scammer) on Pinterest will later be found on this blog as I am in too positive a mood to relay at this time. These scammers are used to victims – not me. Probably scared her or he or it_ to death. I know too much to be fooled by it all. I needed a Royal Membership Card to meet her, she said.
Me: You must be joking!! I met your brother in London and I did not have a Royal Membership Card.
She” You are the joker, show me a picture of the two of you.
Me: I do not have to show you a picture, I tell the truth, whereas you do not! Our encounter was chronicled on my blog at the time, alexis mcbride.com. I wrote about it and he read it – I absolutely know. He approached me again (without the Royal Membership card btw) and I read him what I had written and we laughed. How dare you doubt me!!

It went on, she (he or it) became most insulting. I won. The poor creature had no idea that I was once a lawyer.but now is a believer.) It seems that Pinterest should take some responsibility for the hoaxes that are perpetuated in its pages. In this instance a hoax is r malicious deception. I am not vulnerable to such intrusions as I am intelligent and a strong woman – but many victims fall prey to the lies and deceptions.

But back to more cheerful news. The photograph is another concession made to Christmas. It is a Christmas stocking, made by my mother, that hangs on the door of my apartment. My mother, during her lifetimes, made possibly hundreds of these stockings – look at the detail, the sequins and all. I discovered it when unpacking my stuff. The clear plastic bag contained two stockings – the other one names PAUL That was Husband Number 3 – who was divorced and now, on top of that, is dead. I have no use for the Paul stocking – now I do know a Paul (although I called him by his middle name, on purpose). But I no longer know where he lives or works, and besides that, he is a Muslim. He told me after I left London and could not figure it out at the time as he was from Jamaica. Then learned that there is a sizable population of Black Muslims living there, they came from Ethiopia.. Three and a half years after this discovery, I became a Muslim (strange), I sent the photo to my blog master with the following message.
Me: Blog shall arrive in about thirty minutes. Do you think Santa will put something in my stocking? It is on the door of my apartment. Hohohoho.

I am not quite sure but I do think it possible to believe in Santa Claus, be a Muslim and not celebrate Christmas. I guess we shall see.